As I am embarking on making a very important decision in my life, I realize many people want to give their advice and be heard. Some truly care and want to remind me of what is out there. Others are just talking to hear themselves talk and so it makes me think of how important it is to hear others but truly, you must listen to your inner voice. Sometimes that voice gets lost because it is hard to hear amidst all the talking. Sometimes that voice gets lost and unheard because you yourself fail to recognize it is there.
People will always give you advice mainly because they care and want the best for you. People will always share their experiences and tell you what they think. They will share their experiences and what happened to them in hopes that you will not make the same mistakes. But as you make your decisions in life, it is important to listen to your inner voice amidst all the "noise". That voice matters more than all the "noise".
Tune in ... you will be surprised what you hear.
Wednesday, January 26, 2005
Sunday, January 16, 2005
This is just the beginning
As I face ending one career and possibly starting another, I find myself at a crossroads, but I started to write a blog which was titled, "where has all the time gone?" I stopped myself and did not publish it because as I proofread it, I had a thought. This is not the end of my life and just because I am trying to do something new and fresh, it is not the end. In fact, when we leave our comfort zones and venture into the unknown, it really is not bad. I have always lived my life on the premise that you do what feels comfortable. Take the road which has less risk, and less chance of falling on your face. However, that road, while wonderful and adventureous in its own way, has served me for the last 12 years. It is now time to take the other path and begin a new adventure. There is more risk, there may be more times when I fall and break something, but that is of course, life.
I did not post my more cynical blog because as you start on your new path, you have to realize that choices are difficult but that is what they are: Choices. You make them and make the best of what is happening at that particular stage in your life. This is not the end of a journey but a beginning of another equally fabulous journey to an even more fabulous destination. Either way, you have to be happy from within. No destination, no other person than yourself, and no material object is responsible for your happiness.
Enjoy your new beginning... whatever path you choose in whatever you may be doing today.
I did not post my more cynical blog because as you start on your new path, you have to realize that choices are difficult but that is what they are: Choices. You make them and make the best of what is happening at that particular stage in your life. This is not the end of a journey but a beginning of another equally fabulous journey to an even more fabulous destination. Either way, you have to be happy from within. No destination, no other person than yourself, and no material object is responsible for your happiness.
Enjoy your new beginning... whatever path you choose in whatever you may be doing today.
The past definitely explains our present and will help us define our future
Okay, this one' s a bit more philosophical but here goes. I am writing this as I visit my folks. As a 20-something I never questioned my actions nor did I think about many things. Even as I traveled this time, I watched people at the airport and questioned my own actions. When I watch my parents and how they interact, how they talk and behave, I start to realize where I get my behaviors. Even though I moved out of the home at the age 18, here I am, 13 years later, realizing that my past affects all I do and bears impact on even the most insignificant interactions of my daily life.
My point of writing this blog is to tell you that this is not bad. It is good to observe your past, where you have learned behavior from, and be able to address it early in life. After all, if you wait until you are 50 to learn this, it may be too late to do anything about it. My dad says people cannot change. I do not agree with this. People can change learned behavior. They can change their attitude and behaviors towards things and others. But in order to change what they do not like, they have to identify where it all came from to begin with. I am fortunate to find out at 31, before I am married, before I have impressionable children, how learned behaviors can permeate through our own lives. Our past can help shed light on our present disposition. More importantly, the past helps us define or in my case, re-define our future. Our past infiltrates our present and can affect our interaction with the store clerk all the way to our interaction with our spouses, co-workers, and friends.
It is all around you. Next time you visit your parent(s), do something with your siblings, or see your old high school and college friends, reminisce at will. In fact, I encourage you to open your eyes and your mind and yes, your ears. You will hear it, you will see it, and you will certainly feel it! The past... is our key to learn about where we are at present, and the past holds the hope to a better future. Use this information wisely!
My point of writing this blog is to tell you that this is not bad. It is good to observe your past, where you have learned behavior from, and be able to address it early in life. After all, if you wait until you are 50 to learn this, it may be too late to do anything about it. My dad says people cannot change. I do not agree with this. People can change learned behavior. They can change their attitude and behaviors towards things and others. But in order to change what they do not like, they have to identify where it all came from to begin with. I am fortunate to find out at 31, before I am married, before I have impressionable children, how learned behaviors can permeate through our own lives. Our past can help shed light on our present disposition. More importantly, the past helps us define or in my case, re-define our future. Our past infiltrates our present and can affect our interaction with the store clerk all the way to our interaction with our spouses, co-workers, and friends.
It is all around you. Next time you visit your parent(s), do something with your siblings, or see your old high school and college friends, reminisce at will. In fact, I encourage you to open your eyes and your mind and yes, your ears. You will hear it, you will see it, and you will certainly feel it! The past... is our key to learn about where we are at present, and the past holds the hope to a better future. Use this information wisely!
Tuesday, January 04, 2005
Reaching the Crossroads
It happens to all of us, some of us more often than others. To some of us, it happens early on in life and to others, it happens about every 10-15 years. It all depends but at some point, you will reach the crossroads in your life or your career.
How do we choose which road to take? Is it really just as simple as choosing one road and then not looking back? Well, those are the million dollar questions.
For the second time, I feel that I am at a crossroads. In 2002 March, I found myself standing at a smaller intersection. Do I extend my time in Germany in a job I loved and which I still consider the best job in the Air Force JAG Corps or do I go back home to the United States and take a job where the morale was at an all-time low, the new boss was not going to be any better, but the dating life would be awesome again? Well, I chose the path of coming home to the U.S. and although the job did prove to be as low as I expected, my dating and personal life did improve and I did find myself engaged to be married some 18 months after taking the path. At the crossroads of life, I felt like I did okay but there still isn't a day that goes by when I don't wonder what my life would have been like or where I would have ended up had I not come down this path. If I had chose the path to stay in Germany and then take a follow-on to Washington D.C., how would my life have turned out?
As I stand here today, almost three years later, I find myself at a more congested intersection, one which is fraught with higher stakes. Which road do I choose? On the one path, I get job security and a city which I always wanted to live in, one which is closer to my family. On the other path, I get the opportunity to make a family of my own, and have a career of my own choosing - a location of my own choosing. There are positives on both and risks on both paths. Which one is better? If I choose one path over another, will I spend the rest of my days wondering what life on the other path would have been like. I am certain I will think about it at least once a week. However, what I must recognize and what we must all recognize is that whatever path we choose, it is just that - a choice. Happiness comes from within ourselves and we choose whether to be happy or sad on whatever road we choose. We choose whether to live in regret and doubt and fear or whether to choose a path of living with the knowledge that the path which is laid out before us is the right one and there is no use in looking back because God made you choose the one you are on.
So, as you stand at your intersection, your crossroads in life, remember to weigh your options. Sometimes it is easier to choose because there is no doubt. Other times, it is more difficult. The most important thing to do is to accept your choice once you make it and walk down the path you chose. Enjoy the scenery, take your time, and make your journey a wonderful one... until of course, you reach your next crossroad in life ...
How do we choose which road to take? Is it really just as simple as choosing one road and then not looking back? Well, those are the million dollar questions.
For the second time, I feel that I am at a crossroads. In 2002 March, I found myself standing at a smaller intersection. Do I extend my time in Germany in a job I loved and which I still consider the best job in the Air Force JAG Corps or do I go back home to the United States and take a job where the morale was at an all-time low, the new boss was not going to be any better, but the dating life would be awesome again? Well, I chose the path of coming home to the U.S. and although the job did prove to be as low as I expected, my dating and personal life did improve and I did find myself engaged to be married some 18 months after taking the path. At the crossroads of life, I felt like I did okay but there still isn't a day that goes by when I don't wonder what my life would have been like or where I would have ended up had I not come down this path. If I had chose the path to stay in Germany and then take a follow-on to Washington D.C., how would my life have turned out?
As I stand here today, almost three years later, I find myself at a more congested intersection, one which is fraught with higher stakes. Which road do I choose? On the one path, I get job security and a city which I always wanted to live in, one which is closer to my family. On the other path, I get the opportunity to make a family of my own, and have a career of my own choosing - a location of my own choosing. There are positives on both and risks on both paths. Which one is better? If I choose one path over another, will I spend the rest of my days wondering what life on the other path would have been like. I am certain I will think about it at least once a week. However, what I must recognize and what we must all recognize is that whatever path we choose, it is just that - a choice. Happiness comes from within ourselves and we choose whether to be happy or sad on whatever road we choose. We choose whether to live in regret and doubt and fear or whether to choose a path of living with the knowledge that the path which is laid out before us is the right one and there is no use in looking back because God made you choose the one you are on.
So, as you stand at your intersection, your crossroads in life, remember to weigh your options. Sometimes it is easier to choose because there is no doubt. Other times, it is more difficult. The most important thing to do is to accept your choice once you make it and walk down the path you chose. Enjoy the scenery, take your time, and make your journey a wonderful one... until of course, you reach your next crossroad in life ...
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Repetitive Mistakes
I recently saw a movie which really got me thinking. Thinking? What!? Yes, a movie I saw recently really got me thinking. I saw "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." What a neat idea. When you are fed up with a relationship or really burdened with something, just have that chapter of your life erased from your memory, leaving you free to live the rest of your life. Wouldn't it be neat - I mean think about it. I am at this crossroads now in my life. How easy it would be to just erase my relationship or my career and then that would enable me to pick one or the other because I would not know about the other. Confused?
What's ironic about erasing your mistakes, your scary and not so good moments, is that you forgot you went through that. You no longer have memory of making the mistake, or going through the pain and therefore, you are more liable to make those same mistakes over and over. The more you erase, the more you are liable to repeat in love, career, and life in general. While the general concept of removing feelings toward a person we had sounds quite exciting for some of us gals who have had difficult break-ups into our 30s, I think to myself what my life would be like today if I did not have the memory of the loser guy I dated last year who bordered on abusive behavior. What if I had erased the memory of how it felt when I was stood up for a date, or what if I did not have the memory of responding appropriately to a potentially unethical situation? I think how much different my life would be because I would still be out there meeting the same types of guys, making the same mistakes, and of course, never learning from them or becoming a better person.
This movie, although aggravating to watch at times, really got me thinking about how important it is to know yourself, and part of getting to know yourself is of course, through life experiences. When we erase bad memories or hurtful memories, we are depriving ourselves of the opportunity to grow and learn and become the higher level beings that evolution teaches us we should be. So, next time you are wondering how you can get that guy out of your head, or the pain out of your heart, embrace the image, take on the pain and let it go through your body. Release it by using what you have learned in future relationships or future career decisions. Eternal Sunshine of a spotless mind? I think not!
What's ironic about erasing your mistakes, your scary and not so good moments, is that you forgot you went through that. You no longer have memory of making the mistake, or going through the pain and therefore, you are more liable to make those same mistakes over and over. The more you erase, the more you are liable to repeat in love, career, and life in general. While the general concept of removing feelings toward a person we had sounds quite exciting for some of us gals who have had difficult break-ups into our 30s, I think to myself what my life would be like today if I did not have the memory of the loser guy I dated last year who bordered on abusive behavior. What if I had erased the memory of how it felt when I was stood up for a date, or what if I did not have the memory of responding appropriately to a potentially unethical situation? I think how much different my life would be because I would still be out there meeting the same types of guys, making the same mistakes, and of course, never learning from them or becoming a better person.
This movie, although aggravating to watch at times, really got me thinking about how important it is to know yourself, and part of getting to know yourself is of course, through life experiences. When we erase bad memories or hurtful memories, we are depriving ourselves of the opportunity to grow and learn and become the higher level beings that evolution teaches us we should be. So, next time you are wondering how you can get that guy out of your head, or the pain out of your heart, embrace the image, take on the pain and let it go through your body. Release it by using what you have learned in future relationships or future career decisions. Eternal Sunshine of a spotless mind? I think not!
Tuesday, December 07, 2004
All that glitters...
For the last year, I have been learning the value of not having envy. I used to defy the phrase from "Desiderata", Do not compare yourself to others for you will become vain and bitter. I used to constantly compare myself to others and wonder why I could not have what they had. I no longer do this. Why? Simple - they do not have it all. In fact, it is quite possible that once you peel the layers of what you are envious of, you may not want it at all. What lays beneath is not necessarily gold or even platinum for that matter.
The lesson learned here is that sometimes what we believe is gold, is simply an object which glitters and looks shiny on the outside but may not be so nice and perfect on the inside. It is an important lesson for my life as well. When people see pictures of couples, or see the engagements/nuptials section of the newspaper, they think, "wow, that couple looks great together," or "they're the perfect couple," or "they look so good together - I wish I had that." How can we let a photograph, Kodak or Fuji define what lays on the inside? How can we assume they are indeed the perfect couple?
The truth is, very few couples are "perfect". They have their share of issues, concerns, and secrets. In order to be happy in life, you have to believe that what you have glitters. You have the ability to control the carats, cut, and the clarity in your diamond gold ring. You determine if it glitters on the inside as well as the outside. It is easy to believe what everyone else has is gold. Nothing can be farther from the truth.
The lesson learned here is that sometimes what we believe is gold, is simply an object which glitters and looks shiny on the outside but may not be so nice and perfect on the inside. It is an important lesson for my life as well. When people see pictures of couples, or see the engagements/nuptials section of the newspaper, they think, "wow, that couple looks great together," or "they're the perfect couple," or "they look so good together - I wish I had that." How can we let a photograph, Kodak or Fuji define what lays on the inside? How can we assume they are indeed the perfect couple?
The truth is, very few couples are "perfect". They have their share of issues, concerns, and secrets. In order to be happy in life, you have to believe that what you have glitters. You have the ability to control the carats, cut, and the clarity in your diamond gold ring. You determine if it glitters on the inside as well as the outside. It is easy to believe what everyone else has is gold. Nothing can be farther from the truth.
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