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Saturday, June 04, 2005

Sense and Sensitivities

I recently got married - after 32 years of being single and answering to only myself, I now have to worry about another human being. If that isn't frightening, I realized tonight that I really do not know the person I married. Now, I am not saying I do not KNOW him, of course, I know him. I love this man, otherwise I would not have married him but there are things about him that I am still learning. Of course, this is no mystery to you married couples out there - some thirty-four years later, my parents are still learning things about each other. While some things are neat to learn, other things are best left alone.

Today, I learned that my husband (sounds strange enough saying that) is very sensitive. So I started writing this blog after he left. That's right, we do not live together yet so he CAN leave ... for now that is. I started wondering, after this conversation, what the fine line was between "sense" and "sensitivities". Jane Austen is one of my favorite fiction writers and her books got me through the troubled teens but in life, in the non-fiction world, how can a person differentiate between being sensible and sensitive? At what point does a person in a marriage or in any other relationship put aside emotions and sensitivities and err on the side of sensibilities? Or, once the sensitivity is communicated, should the person just move on?

And so... the marriage begins...