Lost, Damaged or Stolen Passports

Some mistakes are more costly than others.... as I learned this weekend. We have damaged passports as a result of not doing something simple- like zipping a bag they were housed in. For some reason, my husband and I decided to play with a safe and locked our passports in it - not a smart move at all. In any case, there was water damage and most of the documents were fine but the passports did not make it because I did not ziploc a ziploc(R) bag- ARGH!!

It is so frustrating to make a costly mistake like this one. Granted, my daughter's passport would not work past another 2 years- kids' passport are only good for 5 years because their faces change so much but most adults can have passports for 10 years. So, needless to say, this is frustrating news since a passport runs anywhere from $125 down to $45 depending on what your needs are. Most passport books are $100 for a 10-year booklet. Renewals are cheaper so losing the original, have it stolen or damaged really does add up - fortunately for us, we caught this before a big trip - it would not have been good to have discovered something like this on the eve of a huge international trip. In any case, it is always good practice to have a valid passport so my husband and I should at least get ours replaced. Oh, the fun things we have to do to stay .... well, valid!

Nuts!

Despite years of hearing the stories, seeing the issues, I have to admit I was completely caught off-guard today --- all I could say was, "nuts!" I took my daughter to her daycare today for her Christmas party or Holiday party or whatever they call it these days. Anyway, my husband had signed me up for cookies. I decided not to run to the store in the sub zero temps and just make what I had at home so I made chocolate chip walnut and macadamia --- you guessed it -- NUTS!

Anyway, as we entered the day care, I was told, you can't bring anything with nuts into this school- we are a "nut-free" zone. I started think to myself, what? Are you nuts? Then I thought better of it. I know for a fact that one of my good friends to this day swells up like a balloon if she encounters nuts in any form including peanut oil. So, I turned the cookies over and we just went to the party. Apparently, you have to bring store bought, sealed items, or you cannot bring anything at all. The latter is just fine for me. As I looked at all the dietary restrictions in the classroom I was in, I realized one of my daughter's classmates was allergic to "tree nuts." Well, there you have it folks - I am glad my cookies were confiscated and in the end, I learned a valuable lesson. So, from now, it is store bought items only for me and definitely no... NUTS!

Roofing Companies in Colorado - J&K Roofing

Note: Since this Blog was written, I did receive a response to my written complaint and J&K is following through on what happened or did not happen- they will attempt to remedy the situation so I am feeling a lot better about the fact that I did write a letter to try to resolve issues. If you would like more information do feel free to email me.  J&K has gone above and beyond since my letter to their manager. In fact, I had a minor leak due to my siding and the manager and his best crew came out and took care of the issue right away! It really does help to write a nice letter and try to resolve the issues so you can regain the relationship you have with the roofing company. I have to say, that since this blog was written and I had this experience, J&K has done everything to re-establish their relationship with me and follow through on the roof and the warranty.

I write this after my roof has been completely replaced -- I write this because I hope others homeowners will read this before they hire a roofer to completely replace their roof - it is the single most important decision you will make in the lifetime that you own your home. Very few things are as important as the roof over your head - okay, the furnace in the winter time, but as far as expense and functionality, a roof is critical for your home so my advice to you is to do it right but to pick a good roofer. Everything else will fall into place.

The type of shingle you pick will depend on where you live and your climate but the single most important decision you make is the contractor who installs it because if it is the best roof in the world, the $20,000 roof, it makes no difference if your roofers are not skilled or are horrible.

J&K Roofing came highly recommend by our realtor who has not failed us much in the past with his recommendations on contractors. J&K Roofing Company has been in business in Colorado since the '80s and they repaired our roof when we first moved in too. However, we made the mistake of signing a contract and going under proposal before we saw other jobs in our neighborhood. We should have watched and waited - granted, the mortgage company had our check and was hounding us to get repairs done but a little waiting and watching would have served us well. In our neighborhood, well over 20 new roofs have been put in because of the recent hail storm and many more will get done in the spring and summer but I know we needed to get under contract to get the ball rolling with our mortgage company. In any case, we went under contract with J&K around August 20, 2009 with a request date to have the roof done by September 30, 2009. As you can guess September 30 and October 30 came and went and we had no roof replacement. That should have been another big sign and we should have terminated our contract with them but I called their main office because I had child care issues after November 14 and I was guaranteed that it would be done by November 14. The date we were scheduled for was November 10 and that day arrived - the day of reckoning. The sales guy who came out to sell me the roof and show me the colors was no where in sight. He said he would be. Nope - just a crew of Hispanics and what seemed like just 2 guys on Day 1 of the roof - not much was done indeed. In fact, I was told by J&K, both salesmen, Nick and Chris, that the roof would be done in 1-day. It was not! The foreman on sight told me the salepeople just say that and that this would be a 2-day job or even three! I was losing my head because as you know it is tough to get daycare for your children especially if they are stay-at-home. By Day 1, the skeleton crew had done NOTHING - I mean, nothing - maybe ripped some of the existing wood shake roof off and thus began Day 2 on Veteran's Day. It was loud but I thought for sure they'd be done on Day 2.... after all, they had told me ONE DAY. There was no differing site condition, no unusual construction circumstances or bad weather. There were five guys on the job this time and by the end of Day 2 they had some of the new roof up, and most (but not all) of the old roof off.

Day 3 began and unfortunately, my infant daughter remained at home with all the hammering and all that fun! I was told by the salesman who had never physically shown up to the site that it would be done by noon on Day 3. Noon came and went. The roof was not done. The crew worked the longest on this day and after dark, was still cleaning --- of course, the yard was covered with nails, roofing material, and debris. Our new egress window covers were scratched. Oh, did I mention they had damaged our gutter when backing up into our driveway? So they had to replace that too. Yeah, what fun this roofing job has been for us! Day 3 was nearing the 4pm hour and I was concerned they would not finish but it was "substantially complete". On Day 4, they showed up and eye-picked the nails in my yard instead of running a magnet as they should have so, now my backyard is covered with snow and they will have to return after the big melt. They left a piece of plywood dangling in my tree, did not clean my neighbor's yards where there was plenty of debris, and essentially left my yard full of nails. Even when I walked through with the salesman - the one who was supposed to be there when the job started and daily but failed to show, we picked up over 20 nails just in that walk and does not include the backyard where all the snow was!

I was appalled at how things were handled by J&K roofing, Colorado. They had come highly recommended and all I can say is - do not hire them! The worst part is that on Thanksgiving day, two guys returned with a magnet but the backyard was covered. The guy immediately when I opened the door was unprofessional and yelling at me about where the trash was. I told him (but I doubt he understood) that there was some roofing material hanging from the backyard gutter and the yard (both front and back) needed to have a magnet run through it. He basically yelled at me and made me feel bad for trying to get the job done and showing me what he pulled. I plan on writing a letter to J&K main office when I send them the first payment. I will withhold the second payment until they come and clean the backyard but I am going to request they not send the man that was on the job because he was an asshole - a complete dick wad. He comes to my house on Thanksgiving and treats me like I did something wrong- Are you fucking kidding me, J&K?

The best advice I can give you out there if you are looking for a roofer in Colorado or anywhere else is do your homework, talk with your neighbors, get their advice, but most importantly, watch their roofs go up and go with a company who appears professional in every way, that visit the job site after they complete the job and inspect and are thorough, that clean well, and keep the yard and personal property clean and scratch-free, but most importantly, go with a company that treats you with respect because remember, when things go wrong with your roof and you need to call in your warranty, you want a company who will respond and send people who are professional, courteous, and do the job right and efficiently. J&K Roofing is anything but all of the above in my most recent experience. If you have any questions, post a question here and I can tell you other companies in our area who are doing a good job or that I have heard GREAT things about.

To homeschool or not?

Ever since my toddler started daycare again and I realized how much I freak out at the thought of someone else caring for my child, giving her direction, and teaching her things I may not want her to learn, I have discovered that I am true control freak. For the control freak, I think it is a good idea to home school if the parent can do it. It is not like the child is isolated in home schooling but an entire network is at your disposal - a network of parents, a network of kids, and of course, a wealth of experience and knowledge.

Homeschooling is not what it used to be but rather, so much better as a result of the Internet and other technology. For example, you register that you are homeschooling and your child's age, and a sample curriculum is sent to you and you can connect with others who are doing the same in the same age group and then, the child is not isolated and can learn social skills too. Of course, it is my belief that no matter how the child learns or where, alot is up to the child too. A child who wants to excel will and a child who does not, will not - no matter what environment they are in.

In any case, I will not be homeschooling anytime soon -- it is not something I am good at and I am not sure I am ready to give up my professional job and income but I think it is a great idea and certainly a great way to control your child's educational future and ensure that you are not always at odds with the school's philosophy and principles. It is a great way to teach your child, spend time with him or her, and have control over the situation as well.

Communication Gaffes or Gap?

We recently enrolled our toddler daughter in early preschool at Primrose. If you know about Primrose, it is supposed to be a premier school-type environment with excellent curriculum and teachers. Our daughter has finished her first week now at Primrose, and I am not that impressed thus far. Let's face it, at 2 and some change, she is in daycare and not school so all we have is the daily reports that they provide to parents. On the first day, I called every 2 to 3 hours, and so I knew kinda sorta that she did not sleep much on the first day and that she did not eat much either. So, the only report we got home is the potty training and diapering and how that was going. The 2nd day she went was a whole nother story. Other than lunch (only because my husband went to eat lunch with her), I had no idea what she did all day as far as diapering, potty, eating/drinking, or napping. So I had no idea what to do with her at home as far as whether to put her to sleep early or so on. I was quite surprised to see that the sheet with her name and time of arrival on it came home to me -blank!

This communication gap combined with a couple of other communicate gaffes made me question whether we had our daughter at the right "school" especially considering we are paying about $50 more per week for her attend this school. Adding that up, it is about $200 a month which is a lot considering I have not seen what this premium is getting us right now. It seems like maybe their older children programs like preschool and kindergarten may be better because curriculum matters at these ages but right now, it is a souped up day care and nothing more. Right now, the goal is playing with others nicely, learning basics, potty training, and learning how to follow simple orders. In any case, there were a couple of other communicate gaffes too. For example, miscommunication on procedures and policies and events. So, in toto, if you look at all the evidence thus far, I am not too impressed with Primrose but of course, I am planning to give it at least a month before I make a decision on whether to continue her or not.

The Longest Day

I am sure you have heard about the movie, The Longest Day. It is a film which is about the D-Day invasions. The movie is about one of the longest days in military and aviation history - its successes and failures. Well, I can say that today I had one of my longest days as a parent of a toddler who started at a new school. From the moment she woke up today I knew it was D-Day for her and while she probably did not feel that way, I sure did. Off she went to her first day at early preschool. There is a super expensive school in our area called Primrose, and my daughter started there today for two days a week. Almost 30 months old, my daughter, we felt, needed kid interaction and some learning other than just hanging out at home.

It was one the longest days I have had in some time and time could not move any slower- tick tock, it was only 9am when I first called. She was sitting in a corner and crying for mom and dad. They refused to give her her comfort item - the one thing she knows of- her pacifier. Of course, I did not know this then but found out as I unraveled the events of the day and started piecing the puzzle together. She did not eat food as they let on, on the phone, and did not sleep more than 40 minutes for a nap most likely cause she did not have her pacifier for comfort. In any case, I did not unravel all of the successes and failures of this longest day until well into the nighttime hour. By this time, it was too late to call the school and have a "talk" with them. But, rest assured, I will be doing so tomorrow and the next day until my longest days turn into shorter days and I can be at peace with her attending this strange new school.

I know her first day of school is nothing compared to the D-Day-Normandy invasions and the successes and failures there, but for some reason, as a mother, I felt today that they were and I felt there were insurmountable obstacles as she faced this new day and new adventure. Those obstacles were those I created in my mind including the uncontrollable feeling that one day I will have to let go as she makes her choices in this world.... what a day indeed!

Wicked!

By sheer luck, I scored two tickets to go see the Broadway musical Wicked on tour in Denver. I got quite lucky because when I realized I wanted to go and started to look for tickets, it was already sold out. They were doing a lottery for each showing 2.5 hours before each showing but what a pain and of course, you'd have to wait and get there early. As a nursing and working mom, I really do not have spare time to go and wait and a long line just to find out my name was not picked from a barrel of 150 names. So, as the final weekend of the show came, I accepted my fate and realized I would have to just catch it another time.

On the Friday of the final weekend, just by luck a co-worker mentioned someone in the office was sick and wanted to get rid of their ticket for less than face value. Imagine my luck! I got one ticket when another co-worker also felt ill and could not go along so I ended up scoring two tickets. I could not believe it! In any case, I was excited and saw Wicked on Friday November 13, in Denver at the Buell Theater.

The evening was cold and rainy but cleared up and turned out to be cold - a wicked evening. It is the untold story of the Witches of Oz. If you have seen the Wizard of Oz, and know the story, you will definitely enjoy Wicked. It was very well done with set props that rival large productions and a plot that is well thought out and flows very well. We were sitting in Mezzanine level and had a great view and with binoculars, I caught a peek at all the main characters. I had a great time and was really glad I got to attend. If it comes to a theater in your town, I highly recommend this musical production. As far as musicals go, I have seen Chicago, Bollywood Dreams, Les Miserables, Miss Saigon, Mamma Mia and Phantom of the Opera, and I was happy to finally see Wicked!

The longest Baby Shower ... EVER!

I do not get the opportunity to attend too many baby showers - mainly because most of my friends are single and not having children. If they do have children, they are most likely done. Last night, I had the opportunity to attend an Indian baby shower and they are certainly not the normal baby showers - they, like Indian weddings, are a family affair. All members of the family are invited and everyone gets to participate. And like most Indian events, there is tons of food- so much so that they have to roll you out.

In any case, this shower I thought was well organized but a little long for me. The start time was 6pm and we did not get home until 11pm so you can imagine how long it was. Like most Indian events, this one probably ran on Indian Standard Time (IST) and therefore, most likely started at 630pm or closer to 7pm. We had really bad weather last night so it took us almost an hour to get there and we did not arrive til close to 730pm which is probably good because they did not cut the cake until almost 845pm! Of course, that meant we ate good, spicy food after 9pm. For me, that is rather late. I usually eat dinner on weekdays and most days between 530 and 730 pm. Anything after 8pm, is late as far as I am concerned. The kids were getting restless too - you could tell as the volume went up and screaming slowly increased.

The shower was well done and the food and desserts were amazing. The only thing annoying was the games and the shower program. There were tons of games - too many almost. As my sister in law calls it, "death by baby shower". One particular game seemed like a family game where people guessed who did what as an infant/toddler or child. And, other than family, no one really knew or could even guess whether it was the mother-to-be or father-to-be that committed the misdeed as a child. That game did me in. But there were other games too and entertainment and songs too. We ended with the kids singing nursery rhymes to the parents to be and I have to say, that was the shortest part of the entire program and quite cute.

All in all, it was a good time but having had two baby showers myself, I realized how long and grueling these events really could be.

Real-Life Assman

If you have watched Seinfeld, you are all too familiar with the antics of the show and the episode where Kramer gets the wrong license plate. He gets the personalized license plate of a proctologist and is able to park in a doctor’s parking spot and enjoy other perks until the real ASSMAN finds out there was a mix-up at the DMV and Kramer gleefully returns the plate, sharing a few antics and laughs with the Proctologist. “There’s a one in a million chance, doc- one in a million.” In any case, in real life, since natural childbirth, I have had some interesting issues in that department – mainly the pelvic floor, the perineum area (which tears or is given an episiotomy). In any case, I have been seeking care for my issues since before pregnancy but of course, child birth exacerbated the issues even more.

So, I have had the pleasure of visiting some doctors who specialize in the rectal area and with that, comes all the joy and pains associated with that area of your body. In any case, it has been quite the experience. There are always long waits associated with meeting these docs and at the end of the long wait, unlike a long line at Disneyworld, there is not joy and amazement and exhilaration but rather, just pain and a big fat bill for the treatment you received. The waiting room for Colon, Rectal doctors is often crowded. Today was no different – what do you say to the guy who just walked in and said hello to you? It is odd- we are both there for very private and strange issues. You look around and you see young, old, middle-aged individuals – male and female and you think, wow! This is a hot industry. In any case, it is always embarrassing and you hope you do not see someone you knew. Can you imagine running into an ex-boyfriend at the butt doctor’s? ARGH!

Then, at your first visit, the med tech often takes you in and talks with you about what is about to happen – as if waiting in the waiting room for 30 minutes was not bad enough, now I am being lectured to about my ass by a technician who is probably going to laugh about this later. Then, you wait again and again… until finally he or she appears- the real-life ASSMAN. It is quite the experience and I think to work in that industry, you have to have a sense of humor. This particular experience was interesting – there was something new- I had to wear MOON pants. They are these little short like things that open with a flap in the back – okay, come on! Really? Just forget it – do not waste money on these paper moon pants – I mean, come on, as if it was not humiliating enough that I have to lay on my side and have instruments put up there. Any way- they were cute and if I had a larger purse, I would have taken a pair home to show my hubby – new, unused ones, not the ones they used in the exam- ewww! Anyway, after a few minutes of humiliating it is over, and you just hope relief is in sight. Ah, the joys of childbirth !

Choices

Despite my previous posts on keeping in touch with an ex, technology made it near impossible for me to avoid finally facing the music especially with one particular ex-boyfriend and we met for coffee. It's fine- my husband knew about it and was okay with it but I wonder whether I did the right thing - after all, it is always more fun to wonder and fantasize about what may have happened to someone rather than facing reality.

With this particular ex-bf, it was a toughie. We met while I was still in high school and we were both young and of course, I was not ready for anything too serious freshman year in college so I was the one who called it off. He was upset back then but it was a choice I made- I wanted to see other people, finish undergrad, and possibly go on to post-graduate school. The last thing on my mind was marriage - after all, I had just gotten my freedom, was attending college, living on my own, and saw an entire world out there for me. Of course, I was also planning to join the military and was going to travel a bit too. It also did not help that his dad was against our union and his family in general, was weird. In any case, it was a decision- a choice I made back then. Like any choice though you wonder if you made the right one. Now, as we both have families of our own, it is easy to look back and say "it was all for the best and was the right choice." But, for many years, I always wondered what happened to him and his family and if he ever got over what happened. I did not even expect a response back from him when I discovered him on linked in. However, after meeting him and catching up, it was great to finally put the missing pieces of the puzzle together and looking at the puzzle from up here, it all looked right, but did it?

As I contemplate my previous blogs on the topic and question whether it is a good idea to keep in touch with an ex, I still think it is not good to be fast friends or keep in touch regularly with an ex, but I think it is a good idea to reconnect even if it is 17 years later (which it was in my case), because it can help put the past to rest and the fantasy behind you- it helps you understand why things happened and perhaps help gain some closure. For me, this was exactly the case because I felt horrible about how things were left between us. In any case, game over! Now, 17 years later, with the life I have had and the life I know I want, the choices we make at the time, while we cannot make sense of them at the time, are clearly the right choices that help shape our futures. More importantly, the choices we make shape who we are and who we become.

Reporting for Jury Duty

I got a jury duty notice about a month and yes, my initial reaction was like everyone else's and sheer and utter disappointment. I decided not to pursue a postponement even though I am still nursing and/or pumping because I just wanted to get it over with.

In any case, Colorado has a one-day, one-trial system and on the day before your date of service you call or check a website to see if your number is on there. If your number is there, you show up at 8am and hope for the best.

On the morning of, I was exhausted as my infant daughter has not been sleeping well through the night and in honesty, has her days and nights confused. She will sleep through the days and play at approximately 3-6am, it is quite annoying. In any case, I left bright-eyed and bushy tailed, expecting the worse. I arrived and it was relatively painless to go through security except I had a lot of bags- a laptop bag, my pump and its case and accouterments, and of course, my purse. It was a cold Colorado morning so I had a big jacket too. Besides all the stuff I had, I had to ask about the nursing room which obviously was of concern to me.

The jury assembly was a large room with chairs everywhere and not many tables or outlets so I am glad I had battery power in my laptop- I found a place I could sit against the wall so no one would see what I was doing. I was surprised to look around the room and see people just staring off into space with nothing to do - not even so much as a piece of paper to read. I found that very odd. In any case, I took out my laptop and started my day. After I saw people getting snacks and drinking their coffees, I also took my Starbucks Frappucino out and granola bars. A lady came out and told us that some of us would go upstairs and depending on how many trials go forward, they would seat some of us and not others. She said they would draw numbers from a hat basically - high tech world, this jury duty, I thought.

The worst part of the morning was when, as we were waiting to find out if we had to serve, we had a watch video about jury duty. It was so pedantic for me- so basic. All about the jury process, voir dire, and selection, and how things operate in a court room. I did not feel above or better than anyone but I certainly felt like this was a waste of my time. The video was a feel good, hug your neighbor, and kiss the Constitution-type of movie. In short, it was annoying to watch but then the even worst part came after this video. For entertainment, presumably for those who did not have anything to read or do, they played a HOT DOG video. This video was the travel channel or food channel review of hot dog places across America. For 200 hungry people sitting there with nothing to do but wait, showing a video on hot dogs and food was just not the way to go. I was aggravated and some people even left the room and sat in the hallway because they wanted to read or do their work in peace - with no background HOT DOG noise.

I was happy to have my cricket wireless card with me so I could connect to the world, post updates on facebook and communicate in general. I think others wondered what I was doing but I was so excited to have my laptop with me. If they made us any longer, I was going to watch a movie but fortunately, after a short period of time, we got notified that we were all released because all the cases were either continued or settled out. This was right after I had to use the "lactation room." It was not a lactation room but rather, a jury break room for a particular judge and anyone from the jury assembly room could have walked in but fortunately for me, no one did. The room was nice and private and certainly provided me some comfort. The fridge was the fridge that the clerks used so I am glad I brought a bag to put the milk in. In any case, it was a good experience. In 18 years, this was the first time I was called to jury duty or even had to report - I gotta say, I escaped for 18 years so I cannot complain much - I guess it is time to do my civic duty now.

My "Alleged" Family Medical History

For the last few years, since I have had planned and had a family of my own, I have really been interested in my family medical history. I used to fill out those questionnaires and wonder to myself as I wrote down "N/A - no report" what my family history truly was. You see, I am a first generation American born to parents who immigrated to the U.S. in the 1960s, so I know very little about the medical history of my immediate family other than what I am told which has been up to this point- very little to nothing.

Moreover, each time I told something about how someone died or what happened to this uncle or grandma, I am told something different each time. Things that certainly make you go "hmmmm...." In any case, I try to remain vigilant and persistent. When I made a trip to the Motherland last year, I was asking all the questions I could. I also ask my in-laws so I can help figure out what we all up against. As you know, family medical history plays a significant role in genetic disorders, medical conditions and health in general. Sure, a large part of your health is your diet, exercise, and how you take care of yourself BUT, it would be nice to know what risk factors we are all up against.

As I try to trace what happened to my family in the Motherland, I discover lots of disturbing "allegations" - my grandmother died young (either pneumonia or brain disorder), my grandparents on my maternal side passed away (was it diabetes or natural causes), my uncle who died young (brain tumor or aneurysm), siblings of my mother and father who died before my mom and dad were even born (no idea what happened). I try to piece together a genetic medical history puzzle of sorts and it has a lot of holes in it! I continue to wonder why people do not know really know what happened to certain people or why they cannot explain anything- was medical care really that poor back in the day or could people not accurately diagnose so all of us left behind just have to live with the explanation of, "she just went nuts." What?

Anyway, as I continue to piece together the answers to that ever popular question, "Do you have a medical history of this in your family?" I hope I can at least provide some answers to my children so they, in turn, can fill out a proper family medical history instead of the perpetual "?? I have no earthly idea" as an answer.

Signs of the Times - Cartoons & Children's programming

As a result of working from home and entertaining my 2-year old daughter, I have come to watch a lot of children's Television and I have found most of it quite interesting and often a diatribe of the times and what is going on in society.


A few months ago my daughter was really into Sesame Street. My mother started her off on Sesame Street at the ripe age of 18 months so my daughter was quite familiar with characters like Zoe, Elmo, Rosita, Cookie Monster, Oscar the Grouch, and Big Bird. They have added characters to that show since my days of watching it. Zoe, the orange monster turned ballerina is new and so is Rosita, the blue furry, Hispanic monster. As times evolve, so has Sesame Street. Themes have changed too. An adult can watch Sesame Street and find just as much humor and satire a child does - of course, both will get different messages. They do spoofs on "deal or no deal", "CSI" and other popular shows and of course, there are the subtle political messages that only adults would get and appreciate.

Yesterday though, I watched Dora - lately, my daughter dislikes Sesame Street and is into DORA and DIEGO (Dora's cousin - I had no idea til I watched). Anyway, Dora is a little Hispanic girl who goes on adventures presumably at the tender age of 5, through spooky forests and the hills of her village with her pet monkey, Boots, and her love able forest friends. This is where it gets interesting. I have never been an advocate of an official second language in America. I think English should be it but alas, I think it is inevitable that Spanish is unofficially becoming the second language, which is fine. With our neighbors to the South of us and the growing latino population, it is no surprise that I saw an RTD-Denver bus the other day sporting an entire advertisement in Spanish  I could not understand it so I am assuming that I was not the target audience of that ad. 
In any case, with the growing popularity of learning Spanish, it is no surprise that I am learning plenty of it from my daughter's programming. From Sesame Street and Dora, to Diego and the Spanish channels on both TV and radio, I am actually picking up Spanish even though I took French in high school. Anyway, the point I need to make is that children's programming should show the adaptability to both cultures and languages. I think the character on Dora that was the funniest and reflected the sign of the times was the squirrel named Tiko. This squirrel is a the only character on Dora that speaks only Spanish.  So, basically, Dora and Boots, through their responses to Tiko, kinda let you know what Tiko is saying without a direct translation. It was interesting for me to watch this and watch my daughter' reaction too. She has a short attention span so she just tuned out when she could not understand Tiko, the rapido Espanol-speaking squirrel. It was obvious that they were not teaching Spanish like other shows may but I got the distinct feeling that the creators were making a point through the use of Tiko, the squirrel. It is not a message that kids would get but I sure got it. Maybe my daughter can teach me Spanish some day soon because I think very soon, English will be the second language which is fine - I just hope I can learn a new language and keep up with the times.

Another interesting show is Spongebob Square Pants. I always wondered what the Focus on the Family controversy was with this show until I watched it. I guess I can see concerned right-wing Christians taking to the streets of Colorado Springs over the one episode where Spongebob takes in a little oyster as a child with his friend, Patrick, another male. The 15-minute episode is all about the trials and tribulations of being a parent and what they go through until the oyster regains his strength and flies the coop. Spongebob and his friend, Patrick, distraught over saying goodbye to their baby, cry and wave good bye. Could this be an episode on gay marriage and the ability of gay partners to adopt and raise kids? hmmm... maybe. That is how I saw it. My 2-year old, of course, did not see it that way. As I watch this programming with my daughter and try to find some entertainment with it, I have noticed a subtle trend in children's programming to make a point - whether political, social, or otherwise and believe it or not, it keeps me wanting more and helps me kinda stay in touch with the times so, stay tuned for more reports soon!

Facebook - the new recreational drug

These days, you do not have to look far to find someone on facebook. "Everyone is doing it." In fact, if you are not on facebook, you are already left behind. My husband mentioned how many moms are on facebook and are addicted - he's right. Moms spend their days at home with crazy, often disobedient, younger kids. Facebook ends up being a happy place- a sweet escape. Just when you thought it was alcohol, caffeine, or drugs- no! The new escape is safer and more fun - FACEBOOK. The Internet is a modern phenomenon - if our parents had it, we would have all turned out weird. Which of course, makes me wonder how our kids will turn out. We've all done it, parents... we need a quick escape, an adult to "chat" with, and we turn to... you guessed it - our computers! With a quick move of the mouse, we are on, wireless and able to move freely throughout the house. With my click of the mouse, I have eyes in the back of my head- That's right, folks, the webcam built-into my laptop can see behind me and I can watch the kids play while I stroke the keys to type a message and write on my friends' walls.

I can take pictures and upload them with ease and "publish" -- so many comments and writings on my wall follow- hours of entertainment and banter with friends without any interpersonal contact. It's nice. It is like I am spending time with them without actually dealing with annoyances like changing my clothes, showering or driving to meet them. Yes, Email is a good escape but Facebook is so much more fun. It is addictive and a stay at home parents' best friend - it is the new, modern, safer recreational drug.

Declutter that clutter

Ever since I can remember, I have grown up in clutter and I remember saving everything – from the first note I wrote to a boy or got from a boy to stickers – I had a sticker collection. As I have grown up and established a home of my own with limited space to work in and kids’ things, I am growing EXTREMELY weary of clutter. From coupons, receipts, and paper statements/bills to the clothing and assorted cheap toys, I am taking a new stand to rid my home of clutter. My mom has tons of trinkets all over her home from plastic flowers to tiny collectibles and no real display case to appropriate store them, so they end up at odd places all over the house. My in-laws’ home is the same- of course, each collectible carries a sentimental feeling. Who knows? Maybe I will save my daughters’ projects but somehow I doubt it. I also do not mind saving things but believe it should be saved appropriately. I just recently started throwing away things that once meant something to me as well. This is my firm belief: All of the sentimental items can fit into one box – if not, it is time to go through it and declutter. For example, I still have my scrapbook from high school – that fits into one box but there are boxes all over with things in them and I have recently started consolidating. Last year, I got rid of a stuffed animal my college boyfriend gave me… I knew it was time to let go and move on.

In any case, my new resolution which is a continuing resolution is to ensure whatever space I can declutter, stays decluttered. This involves going through closets and other neat hiding places and trying to either consolidate all items, throwing some stuff out, and donating others. It involves marking boxes and knowing where everything is. I know it is tough to actually execute this plan because with the kids and life, something always gets in the way. This weekend I will be gone again so my goal is that by January, all my clutter is either identifiable, thrown away, or donated to someone who may appreciate the clutter more than me. Here’s to living 2010 somewhat clutter-free and imparting the same values to my children.

The Cost of Shattering the Glass Ceiling

When African-Americans received the right to vote and desegregation occurred in this country, I do not think anyone thought about a negative cost of that glass ceiling breaking- in fact, except for bigots and racists, it was a win-win for the economy and the individuals who won that right. However, the same cannot be said about women entering the workplace especially entering traditional male jobs, including athletics and the military. In fact, I think across this country as women excel in all career fields to become CEOs, CFOs, Olympic gold medal winners, and Generals in the Army, there is a cost.

I initially wrote this blog as a big whine on the military and how unfair it is to women, especially those who are trying to raise kids and find work/life balance. However, someone was wise to point out to me that the cost of breaking the glass ceiling does not exist for just women in the military, it occurs across the board. From the woman who has to travel for work three to four days a week, work extra hard to get the same position on the board as the man, the athlete who cannot take her infant with her due to antiquated rules in the Olympics, to the woman who deploys for six months or more, leaving her infant child behind, it seems that everyone is making a sacrifice. In the case of women earning their place in society, the corporate world, athletics, and/or the profession of arms, there does seem to be a cost and everyone is bearing it.

It is not easy to leave behind an infant in the middle of nursing to go fight a war on foreign soil, likewise, it is tough to ask for a leave of absence from work for more than a few weeks especially if you work for a Corporation and the way to get ahead is to be seen and present. It is tough for an athlete to take a break from the sport and even after returning, to take breaks to go nurse a child. Moreover, athletics takes a toll on nursing as well – it can reduce breast milk production. Whether we choose to admit it or not, there is a glass ceiling and while we as women strive to break it, this comes at a cost to our families and ourselves. Many women decide early on to make the sacrifice – to not return to work, to give up their careers and their passion because of another equally important passion – being a full-time mother. Others cannot or choose not to do so. I am still surprised to learn of antiquated practices in the workplace- whether professional, blue collar, or otherwise. Many workplaces are family unfriendly. While our government has attempted to make strides in family-friendly practices including alternate work sites, part-time and alternative work schedules, there are those employers and corporations out there that have not- it is a traditional male work place mentality: Work here, or take vacation; work when we tell you to instead of just getting the job done; and work under the conditions provided – no lactation rooms, or private rooms for pumping. It is interesting how many more employers are family friendly and yet, the glass ceiling remains along with an equal number of employers who refuse to change with the times. Whether it is because they choose to overtly discriminate is another story but if they are not forced to change, why would they? After all, it would involve changing a culture- a mindset.

The military, for example, has regulations and laws which require a woman to be deployable (in shape, immunized, and so on), within 6 months of childbirth. It is not six months post-partum to "start getting ready" - No! The Regulations are clear: be ready to DEPLOY 6 months from the date of childbirth. After all the statistics on child bearing and nursing, why should a mom be deployed for 4 months after a mere 6 months of nursing and being with her baby? That makes no sense. There are no accommodations made either for the nursing moms in many professions. You cannot take your child along with you or let him or her stay with you. Many corporations will not pay for childcare or the child’s ticket if he or she travels with mom. Why should they when they can get away without paying for it in the case of a man travelling instead of a woman? There is no incentive for an employer to make special cases for a woman and the employer who is family friendly tends to be the exception rather than the rule.

Despite the fact that studies indicate breastfeeding and remaining with a child at least 1 year after birth improve the child’s immunity and well-being, we choose as a society to ignore medical and health science and instead of working with the mom, offer her a choice: feed your baby, remain with your baby OR excel in your career by being more like a man. Well, if it were that simple, it would be very easy. It is not. Biologically, if men could nurse a baby, then, what a different world we’d be in! Unlike the racial barrier, the gender barrier is harder to overcome. In race, there are no biological differences per se except skin tone. In gender, there are. And therefore, for better or worse, there remains this cost of our attempts at breaking the glass ceiling and no matter how far we get or what we achieve, we still face these costs – whether that cost comes in the form of our emotions, our children, our spouses, our healthcare, our social programs and ... our society!

Born Lucky

Based on the movie, Osama, which I saw recently, I really got to thinking about how lucky we are to be born in a certain country, to certain parents, and the opportunities we receive along the way in our lives. More importantly, I felt very lucky to be born a woman here in America.

I am not saying other countries are beneath us or have nothing to offer. I am merely appreciating the opportunities, rights, and privileges that I have here that perhaps women and men in other countries do not get to realize. This movie is eye opening and paints a picture of life in a Taliban-run Afghanistan and all the restrictions and horrific things that happened as a result especially to the people of Afghanistan. People were not allowed to celebrate weddings, dress in beautiful garb, sing, speak out against the Government, and women were not permitted to show their feet, hands, and ultimately, while the movie ends tragically, it really paints a picture of how horrible it was and still is to live under this regime.

Sure, every religion has its share of issues and a history of causing death and destruction but it made me realize that even in modern day, religion makes people do some pretty horrible things including stoning, death by firing squad, and worse. In this movie, they also showed the harsh reality of some cultures - wedding extremely young girls to very old mullahs or older men. In the name of religion, people abuse others and think it is acceptable to lower the self worth of others. Of course, I feel blessed to be born in a country where I can be what I want, wear what I want, and my self worth is not defined by my religion, caste, or my gender. It is a worth watch movie but definitely troubling on many levels and made me think of my young daughters and how lucky they are too. There were some good portions of the movie where people help each other and cover for each other especially when the Taliban are coming down hard on people for just living life. In any case, it was an eye opening movie to watch to understand how the Taliban devalues women in turn, disrespects God and Allah himself through their actions. Like some movies stay with you, Osama will stay with me for sometime to come.

Operation "Lunch Out"

Well, it had to happen.... my husband and I had not had dinner out alone or lunch out or even a meal together alone for about 8 weeks now... in fact, you could say we have not had minutes alone together in quite some time. If one daughter is sleeping, the other one wakes up, and so on - you can imagine our frustration that we have not had alone time. Of course, other factors get in the way too - work, illness, injury, and other duties in life. But, we knew it was time so we planned last week for a week of dates this week. Last week, my in-laws were in town and now, next week, my mother is arriving followed by the arrival of my dad a few days later so we knew our window was shrinking.

So, we planned it and executed our mission and low and behold- it was a huge success! I say huge success because you do not realize how precious these moments truly are until you are singing and excited about a lunch alone with your husband. We met Bagali's in Broomfield and it was nice. We beat the lunch crowd and had a nice sit down meal - we were able to talk and engage in conversation without the TV, dishwasher, washer and dryer, and the kids going ... it was great! I think it's really important to have some time alone - quiet time, to talk, and just engage in each other's lives without interruption and privacy. In any case, Operation "Lunch Out" was a success and with any luck, we will get to meet again this week and enjoy another date before our house dynamic gets mixed up yet again.

Furnishings Update

Well, looks like we finally did it- we bit the bullet and finished our basement last month and did a lot of moving in but organizing is still left to do. This past week, I bit the bullet and put a dent in our budget again by shopping for furniture. The furniture shopping was prompted by a bad bed and my back pains associated with it. So, I decided it was time to get a new Queen bed for my infant daughter's room. This will be a temporary placement as I am sure in another 18-24 months, my two daughters will want bunk beds and sleep together - I hope so anyway. In any case, a good bed is a necessity - it is a must for me.

So, I made the trek to Furniture Row and during this trip, as you can tell from the blog before this one, ENDURO WHAT?, I went ahead and got an enduro suede(R) sofa- the Malibu (after much angst and changing my mind that is). I also got the Durango Queen mattress from Denver Mattress. I am happy to report that we are now a Furniture Row home as all of our mattresses are Denver Mattress and all of our furniture is too. Of course our dining room table is from American Furniture Warehouse but we got a great deal on it. In any case, I took delivery of all the pieces yesterday and had the delivery guys put the old items in the basement. We got new mattress pads and comforter sets too - Wal-Mart is a great bargain! Everything looks great and I am so far pleased with everything. I even woke up refreshed and without back pain from the new bed. It may be time to call in my warranty on the King-size Durango that seems a little dented in with a big speed bump in the middle where little or no use was received during both my pregnancies. In any case, I am excited to see that the basement will get much use in the coming weeks. We have my sister-in-law coming this week along with my in-laws for 6 days. I am excited that everything is ready in time for their arrival. The bathroom is ready for use as well down in the basement. This provide a good testing ground of the basement space and how it works with our family dynamics as well. All in all, I am pleased with the purchases thus far and look forward to continued use. Opinions mean a lot to me so I will be intrigued to see what my in-laws think and my mom too - my parents arrive in less than four weeks as well. Let's hope the basement was a good use of our money... time will tell.

December 2009, Update on Enduro-Seude Couch from Sofa Mart:
Okay, not pleased due to the dry winters in Colorado, as you can see from my blog, ENDURO WHAT? I am getting a lot of hits on this fabric and static and cleaning tips and I gotta say that while it is super easy to clean this couch, it is a royal static machine. You can literally see sparks on it despite what you use on it. When it first arrives from Sofa Mart, it is coated nicely with something but a few months later especially in Colorado (altitude + dry), you can really see the static cling and it is annoying at best. I do not recommend it at all! Get leather or fabric if you can.

Enduro What?

Please note: I am editing this blog because it is getting a lot of traffic and I mean, a lot! I honestly did not know Enduro Seude and Micro Fiber were the same thing and I feel that I rushed into buying a couch so I will periodically update what is going on with the couch so you have the full story.

September 2009
I have spent the past few weeks searching for the perfect couch... of course, despite dropping alot of money, I am still convinced I have found it. First, I was set on cloth couches- fabric. We found one we liked at American Furniture but I noticed none of the pillows were removable- IE, they were stuck to the couch and you could not remove them to wash them. That is bad. Then I did research on Chenille and kids and chenille is a bad combo. Something called microfiber was a better buy so I started to search for that. Of course, I stopped by Sofa Mart and saw that all their couches had removable pillows and washable cushions, not to mention reversible. This is good. The only problem as I discovered two days after purchase (by doing some research on the internet- kind of like you are doing now): Static on micro-fiber!!! Sofa Mart sports their micro fiber as enduro suede(R). It is a nice material and soft but suede-like polyester. You know what that means right? STATIC!

Yes, Static is a huge problem as I discovered whilst googling "how to reduce static electricity on micro fiber." Well, the solution is not simple especially when you live in the mile-high (AKA. dry) city. Tomorrow, the couch will be delivered and I will try the anti-static spray I have purchased but I have a 7-day trial period and then may need to switch it out if it does not work. We have not had that problem until now because we have leather. I guess we will find out but I am super nervous. It seems like microfiber is very popular. Unfortunately, I am very prone to static cling and electricity shockers. So are my kids and all the fun jammies they like to wear. I hate it but let's see -- there is always the 7-day exchange and a few fabric couches that Sofa Mart had... but all in all, I think leather is the best for people with kids - talk about EN-DURABLE! Let's see how Enduro Seude holds up and hope Sofa Mart can put their guarantee where their mouth is!

If you found this blog posting useful, please use the donate button to the right - all proceeds for children's charity.

UPDATE!!!! December 2009
Okay, so we are experiencing a very cold, dry winter here in Colorado and I have to say, despite using all the technics including static guard, water, and what not, there is tons of static on my couch and I hate it! I absolutely hate it. I would not recommend this couch if you do not like static. My kids are shocking me, each other and occassionally I shock the hell out of myself so I honestly wish I had gone with chenille. Now, on the plus side, it cleans up VERY WELL - very well indeed. But, I would still recommend leather if you have kids. If you have pets -- well, up to you - I do not have pets so I cannot speak from personal experience. My favorite is chenille fabric or leather and I think my next couch will be that one.

UPDATE!!! January 2010
So, today was not a good day for our couch and the enduro seude proves to be child proof yet again. Our toddler is potty training and had a massive accident on the couch- only urine thank god, but nonetheless, a mess! Make sure you get the cleaning kit that comes with the couch at Sofa Mart - it worked well and no smell, and no stain. So, while there is tons of static, it sure does clean well!

Roof Chaser?

Lately, I have experienced what so many may already have -- the ambulance chaser but in another, completely perverse and weird form - THE ROOF CHASER. It is no surprise that Colorado has seen its share of bad storms this past year- between November of 2008 and July of 2009, Colorado has had some pretty intense wind and hail storms, tornadic activity, and thunderstorms that leave you thinking, "where do I live again?" Traditionally known as a drought-state, this year, Colorado has had plenty of flooding and hail.

So, it is not a surprise to see so many roof chasers descend on Colorado. We had such an experience this past weekend. Not only is our door step and handle inundated with flyers daily, we had the proverbial pop-in - a guy who walks door to door, handing out brochures, leaving his card, and trying to talk up his roof. Well, as any idiot who has an internet connection knows, it is not hard to get a decent roof on your house - the question is, "who puts it there." That is where the comparisons come in. Who do you trust to be up on your roof installing a new roof the proper way? That is the key when you are deciding which roofer to use. You should (1) verify what product is being used (2) is it hail and impact resistant and (3) how is it being installed - what nails and how many per square. When it comes to new roof installation, workmanship and warranty is key. So, it is important to work with a local company and someone you trust.

The best way to find a good roofer is through word of mouth and then do research on them - through the better business bureau (bbb) and the internet. You can find out a lot about a company by their zip code. Many companies have descended on Colorado just to get some business and then they will head right back out - who knows if they will be in business when you need them again? I did some research on the roof chaser that came by our home and it turns out they're Georgia-based. The guy who gave me his card had a Colorado number on his card but on his website, it was an area code local to Atlanta. Interesting. In any case, beware if you need a good roofer. Many companies pride themselves on getting you money from your insurance and claim to get $20K for roofs when really, you can do the job for under $10K and do it well. It is interesting how much they are willing to do for your business but remember, the key is reputation and workmanship. Do your homework - after all, it is a "roof over your head" and they do not come cheap.

Dressing Room Drama - I feel so violated

I feel so violated - today, I went to a sporting goods store to find that perfect sports swim suit and instead I got violated in a big way. So, there I was in the dressing room and I locked the door - so I thought. It was a busy dressing room area at lunch time and people were coming and going- some would knock and others like the guy who barged in on me did not.... I was trying on swim suits so of course, you can imagine my surprise when I heard the door rattle. I said several times, "someone's in here. someone's in here." Before I could finish that sentence a third time, the guy had already pushed the door open and was staring at me. I was covering my naked, topless self but was completely shocked. I think he was too because it took what felt like several seconds for him to say sorry and run away. He was not laughing but I could tell he was shocked too. After all, there I was, completely naked. Holding a swim suit on a hanger in one hand and trying to cover myself up with the other. He probably heard me yell, "what the fuck and oh my god - didn't you hear me say someone was in here?" What a mess!

I decided not to purchase anything and left the store but before I did I talked with someone about their dressing rooms. I informed him that they needed separate dressing stalls or a better system like they do at dick's. For example, at some stores where they have co-ed dressing stalls, they have the sales associates come and let you in after verifying no one in there. Other stores have the stalls where you can at least see people's feet. I am not sure what happened to common courtesy like just knocking and verifying before entering. All I can say is I am humiliated and embarrassed and this was an accident - I cannot imagine how people feel who are sexually assaulted or worse, raped. Those are intentional acts against the person and this was an honest mistake. But the way I felt just made me realize how horrific those events must be for a person. I also heard recently about stores taping people in dressing rooms without their knowledge and consent and I realized also what a horrible invasion of privacy that is despite same-sex observers. In any case, it was a horrific day and I hope never to go back to this store. I am debating how to handle this incident - should I call the manager and talk with them, write a letter, or just end it with this blog. I really want to advocate for a better system for dressing rooms but am not sure how to handle it.

In any case, for now, I choose to put this drama behind me and hope that someday I can re-enter a co-ed dressing stall ... and come out without incident.

You want a tip? In this economy?

I recently went on a lunch outing with a colleague and had a not so nice server and I decided to not tip her the proverbial 20%... in fact, after the use of coupons, I think we short changed her quite a bit. Same goes for a pedicure I got the other day from the local neighborhood Asian nail parlour. I just decided she was not as good as my usual lady and I did not need to feel guilted into giving her the same amount. I know what people say - you should tip 20% as a starting point but to them I say, no way! 20% is not the starting point for me - it is not a guarantee. I think 10% is the starting point. While I used to be generous with my tipping especially since my husband influenced me a lot after I met him, lately, I think you need to do something good and be pretty dern good to get that. In this economy, why should I tip someone who gave bad or mediocre service. I once got a really bad arm wax and felt guilted into tipping 20% - not anymore! I am taking a stand against tipping bad service. Granted, there are times when the service is just that good...

For example, when we go to a restaurant with the kids and they are messy, of course, we may owe the guy or gal a little more than 20%, but I go to a buffet lunch with my work colleague and I am not going to leave more than a dollar. Why would I? What did they bring me? I had to get up and go get my food. I am not tipping you a lot just because you brought me a glass of water. Another time I think someone goes above and beyond is with the service- bringing out things on the side, special requests, and keeping my water or soda glass filled without me asking. I think that is nice. I remember one server bringing out nice things for my daughter to keep her occupied and her tummy full - that deserved 20% or more.

In this economy and with us going out to eat a lot more than usual, I have to watch how much I tip not just at restaurants but at service places- hair, nails, and the like. I think in the end it depends on what service you got and how the person did - 20% is not a guarantee. You have to earn it! You want a tip? In this economy? You need to go above and beyond. We all do.

Your daughter is so cute when she speaks Arabic

The other day we decided to check out a local ice cream/coffee shop in these new subdivisions that have their own restaurants, coffee shops, and so on. What a nice neighborhood and neat places to eat and do yoga and what not. It is quite convenient if you live in these premier neighborhoods to have all of this at your disposal.

So in any case, we wandered into this place to check it out and it was nice -sofas, games, newspapers and magazines and nice food and drink fare. But we were just looking. Our daughter, on the other hand, did not want to leave and made herself at home. She is a talker now - chatterbox of sorts but only we can understand her sometimes because she has her own lingo for saying things.

Anyway, she was asking for water and the guy behind the counter remarked, "Oh, is she speaking Arabic?" I was thinking, she might as well be cause you obviously do not understand that WaWa means water but ... I could not help but look around a little bit. Sure, we are of Asian heritage but come on! Why would anyone presume anything these days. In any case, since then my husband and I have had some fun at this guy's expense and now anytime we can't understand our daughter which is more often than not, we claim she is speaking Arabic cause neither of us speaks that. I just find it humorous when Americans in this day and age of knowing what we know still proclaim their ignorance and make it known by idiotic comments like that one.

Goldilocks and the Perfect Day Care

Finding a good home care or day care provider for your kids (the most precious thing in your life) is akin to the story of Goldilocks. You need to find one that is "just right." But, alas, therein lies the problem - finding the perfect day care provider is not a destination but a journey. It never ends. It started before my first daughter was born in the Spring of 2007, and has not ended. Here, we are, 2+ years later, now with my infant daughter and we are still searching for the perfect solution. We started with day care provider #1 after about 3 months of my first daughter's birth but she could not care for my daughter well. My discerning 3-month old did not like this woman at all and we'd drop her off in her car seat and when we arrived after a few hours, my daughter would be there crying in her car seat. It was like this woman had no clue what to do. This home care provider was NOT right.

My older daughter actually picked the home care provider she is currently going to. At 6 months of age, she jumped from my arms into this lady's arms when we went to interview her. No one else had this effect on her. In fact, she even cried with my husband and only liked my mom and me. So, it was set - it was destiny. But alas, as you know, this home care provider is less than perfect too - they do great with the kids and they kids love them and identify with them but their home is so far away from the house and far away from my husband's employment too. It is a pain to take them there and we wish this provider would come to the house. But alas, they charge a lot and the pains to take them back and forth is starting to take its toll -plus, if they are away or have an appointment, one of us has to work from home or take the day off. This home care provider is right but not perfect. I should mention we tried our older daughter in a public day care near my employment last year- she was only 13 months old and she did terribly. She was sick all the time, and the thought of leaving her killed me- she cried and cried. It was too early to do that - That day care situation was NOT right at all.

So, now here we are delving into another home care situation - where someone comes to our home and watches both our kids. Pros- the girls get to stay home and do not have to weather road conditions or storms. But, alas, there are many cons - they are not familiar with this lady and the lady would need to learn where things are in our home, how to heat bottles for my little one and not confuse them with the Vitamin D milk we give our toddler. One HUGE problem - there is a communication gap. This lady only speaks Hindi and my daughter knows another Indian language and English. This is the biggest obstacle right now and I am not sure I am ready for this change despite the girls being more adaptable and flexible than I am. Someone new will have to learn all over what we spend months teaching the current home care provider- how to put my infant and toddler to sleep for nap times, what temperature both kids like their milk, and how to care for them. I am just not sure I will ever find that perfect day care situation .... unlike Goldilocks, I do not think I will ever be sated.

Women? Sure, the military welcomes women to serve but do they?

I know I am a reservist but all my observations and experiences lead me to believe that the military is NOT conducive for working moms. I know they let women in and claim to have great benefits but there are some drawbacks for women who want to serve and at the same time, fulfill obligations to their family especially their young children.

For example, as an active duty member, you get a whopping six weeks of paid leave after delivering - wow! 6 weeks! Active or Reserves, anyone including a working mom can be deployed within 6 months of having a baby or within 6 months of coming off a profile (medical or otherwise). That's right, folks, after 6 months, you are again world-wide qualified and despite all we know about breastfeeding and how healthy it is for a baby, after 6 months, you can be deployed to a remote, foreign location without your child. Nice!

And even when you return, Reserves or Active, there is no requirement for the military to provide you a separate room or a special room to nurse or pump. The Pentagon has one because someone took a stand and made a difference but unless you have a private office, are you really going to be motivated to ask for this accommodation? After all, it will cause waves and you have to explain what you are doing. More and more men are aware that women pump but most men in the military have wives who stay at home. What's a pump? Shouldn't you be at home? Why are you here? The stigma still prevails despite decades of attempts to reform.

You are required to attend long meetings and expected to stay put - after all, leaving in the middle of a commander's call or a commander's meeting is rude even if you have to pump or if you are pregnant and have to pee. You better coordinate in advance or you could look like an idiot walking out on the top guy - ie. your boss. What if you work on the flight line? What if you work in the maintenance shop or a place where it is not conducive to even find you a private place to pump? The military, I have noticed, has not made strides to keep the women they so "gladly" welcomed due to the legal requirements. In the end, like all cases, women have to choose and make a tough choice- family or serve? They choose family but why do they have to make that tough decision? Oh I know why, because while the military welcomes women, they do not really do much to keep them and retain them - quality of life just does not support women serving unless they make sacrifices in the form of their family, nursing their small infant, and so on. I really hope the military can make strides and become the microcosm of society it needs to be. All eyes front and center!

The Hybrid Experience

During our recent vacation, we rented a car for two days and because the compact car that I had reserved, a Ford Focus, reeked of cigarette smoke, the lady was kind enough to let me have the Toyota Prius- a Hybrid vehicle. When she asked me if I had ever driven one before, I looked at her funny. I said, "how different can it be?" She just grinned. I could not even turn it on when I got in. She came and showed me what to do and then, how to run it. It was interesting. All the controls were through some panel screen (like a GPS screen), and it was very complicated until you got used to it - took me just enough time to get it before I had to return it.

The ride was smooth, and the car was slightly larger than your usual compact. We could fit all our stuff in it, both car seats, and still had room for one person to squeeze rather tightly between the car seats. All in all, I really enjoyed the hybrid experience. I enjoyed it even more on our trip to the airport to return it. I had to fuel it back to FULL. I was expecting to pay over $10 for the 120+ miles we had put on it but I was very pleased when it stopped pumping at 2.4 gallons. I spent a grand total of $5.70 to fill it up after 48 hours of driving it. We drove it for well over 70 miles on day 1, and an additional 70 on day 2. It was terribly hot and we were running the A/C constantly too. We had to- I was nursing the baby in the car, we would wait in the car while one of us ran into the store, and so on. So, I was excited to see that I only had to spend a little change on the gas.

After driving it and the small bill for gas, I am SOLD on it- I wish more dealerships and auto manufacturers would make hybrids- for vans, for cars, etc. I know we need the space to have a wagon or SUV, but I would gladly pay a little extra if they made them hybrids. It would reduce our dependence on oil while still permitting a great ride. Leave it to Toyota to have a good one at the same price sticker as a Subaru Outback. We had a great hybrid experience and hope that they continue to make cars and trucks more affordable and more fuel efficient. I am honestly considering one for my next vehicle.

Do you take "cream" with your tea or coffee?

However delayed this blog is, I had to write about the tea incident that occurred while I was visiting my folks in Virginia. My mom is a conservator by nature. For example, when I give my toddler-daughter Vitamin D milk in a bottle or cup, any left overs are used by mom to make her tea. Even though my daughter has back wash, etc., my mom feels compelled to not waste anything – down to meals. She will eat what my daughter does not and so on. I think you get the picture. Well, lesson learned I think is when it comes to some things, ‘tis better to just let it go.

Case in point – when I was visiting Virginia, I had bottles for both my infant daughter (2 bottles) and my toddler too because she cannot seem to drink milk out of anything other than a bottle. We are not too hard on her and still indulge her so she drinks her milk out of a bottle. Anyway, while we were in Virginia, I had to thaw out frozen breast milk one day for my infant so my mom could feed her while I was taking a nap with my daughter. My mom did so and it was approximately 3 ounces of breast milk. The bottles are marked with my infant’s name but it is not readily available or apparent- you have to actually lift the bottle and read below. My mom did not know this because rarely is my infant bottle fed. She is exclusively breast fed. So, needless to say… I think you know where this is going … My infant did not drink the bottle and my mom put it back in the fridge. Later that same, she made tea and waste not, want not, she thought she was using Vitamin D leftovers, combined with some other milk for prayers, combined with Actual Vitamin D leftovers. Little did she know at that time, that she had 3 ounces of breastmilk, an ounce of milk used for prayers, and 3 ounces of Vitamin D leftovers all in one pot. If you know hot to make Indian masala chai, it is all combined with water in a pot, spices and tea added with sugar, and then boiled. Boiling it releases the caffeine from the tea and makes the milk and water and sugar come to life. Ha! Needless to say, it smelled funny because breast milk, when boiled, does not separate, but just smells odd. As soon as I put my lips to the cup, I could smell something. It reminded me of how my infant smells after she spits up. Ironically, my infant was reaching for the cup as if it smelled to her of momma. In any case, after 2 sips, I said… This is spoiled and then did not drink it. My mom, on the other hand, kept drinking it and saying it tasted horrible but could not stop drinking it. My dad was saved because before he could get a cup, mom my decided it was spoiled milk and tossed all the tea. It was not until morning that she realized what she had done.

That night, I kept searching for Nisha’s bottle of milk and just decided to talk with my mom in the morning – of course, before I could do so, she admitted to me what happened and was quite embarrassed about it. I wonder if she views “waste not want not” differently now. Oh –no she doesn’t, she merely blamed the entire saga on me because of my lack of labeling and moved on. So, next time someone talks about mistakenly drinking breast milk, I do not laugh - I have been there, done that. Thank god it was my milk :-)

On a side note, when I googled, "frozen breast milk" I got this article and I had to share (OH BOY!) Breast Milk Off the Menu!

Storm of the Century

So, last night in Colorado, I would say we had the storm of the century. Sure, compared to what others may get, it was nothing but our neighborhood got hit hard. Leaves were everywhere, hail was so loud, I could not think, our roof leaked, our basement got flooded (mainly because they left the window wells open), and the power was out for at least 2 hours. Thank God the food did not go bad or I would have been pissed. Some people in other parts of town did not get their power back until three in the morning! That would have been too close for comfort for me - I have frozen breast milk and if that would have gone bad, I would have been really upset.

In any case, we are having our basement finished and so water got into the basement- due to a combination of factors but mainly cause the window wells are exposed and open and the windows were also left open. If the windows were closed, we may have gotten some water but not alot. We will need to figure out the window well situation before completing the basement and this certainly made us rethink some things. It turns out our area and two other cities along the same main street in Colorado were hit hard with our city and another the hardest. It was a scary storm and I am just glad that more damage was not done. I feel blessed we have a roof over our head and the children are safe. I am not sure how people cope with losing everything - their home, their property, etc. I guess as long as those we love are safe and healthy, everything else is secondary.

Cricket Broadband Connection Update

I decided to call tech support again today - Monday, a working day. I figured maybe the losers were working the call centers abroad on the weekend. I was right. Today, I got someone who actually helped me change some settings on my Windows Vista. They were security settings. I had to uncheck one box under user accounts (the introductory screen) and boom! It worked. Another thing that you need to do if you are running Vista or XP with security is this: Make sure you download the software FIRST onto your desktop (The zipped version), then after you plug the card in, unzip and install the software. This will prevent your system from crashing and will recognize the device. Soon, the device driver will install and then you are all set to use your A600 Broadband card.

I am an IT person at heart. I kept googling solutions this weekend. The best one told me to download the software from the cricket website instead of relying on the broadband USB Modem to install it for me on my computer. Next, I decided to take a chance and ask for tech support on a normal working day and lied to the technician. Instead of telling her I got the blue screen of death, I told her the modem was not being recognized. She took me through the right steps to install the card, and voila, it worked. Do not let them tell you that you need to contact Windows. That is a load of crap. It is their hardware, not the software. They need to help you change the security settings not Windows. In any case, good luck. For now, I am going to see how it works since I have 30 days and then we will see. Good luck!

Buyer Beware: Cricket Broadband sucks!

I had the unfortunate experience of ordering an A600 modem from Cricket Broadband. What attracted me to this? I wanted no contracts and at $40, I could log on from anywhere, so I thought. I received the A600 Broadband modem. I paid a butt-load of money for it. The over-excited sales rep guy misrepresented to me that if it did not work with my computer, I would get all my money back. He lied. Worse yet, the customer service reps (based out of China is my guess) were horrible to deal with when I needed help. The tech support guy and gal were even worse. So, to make a long story short in this first introductory paragraph - DO NOT GIVE YOUR BUSINESS TO CRICKET. I have already filed a better business complaint against them over this incident and plan on fighting with my credit card company to get my activation fee because in sum, I ACTIVATED NOTHING!

So, here is what happened. I enthusiastically picked up my package at Fed Ex- signature required or you cannot get your card. Then, I plugged into my laptop. It should automatically install. It did not. Instead I got the blue screen of death- better known as a system crash. This happened all 7 times. I meet all the requirements. I tried in two other laptops with different systems (all meet the requirements). Same blue screen of death. I call Cricket for tech support. They suck and told me it was a windows error. It is not of course because two other computers with different OS all had the same problem. So I call tech support again hoping to get someone smarter. Wrong again! So I call customer service to ask for a refund. Mind you, I just got it yesterday and have not even activate it yet because I cannot even use it. I got the supervisor who was reading from a card provided to him in some outsourced factory in China who told me my activation fee could not be reimbursed because (and I quote), "the modem works fine - it is my equipment error." I lost my mind and just hung up because there was no point arguing with a drone in another country. So, there goes my hard-earned American cash. I will NEVER recommend Cricket to anyone as a result and if I can even help one person to NOT get their service, I have done my job. The customer service after you order something from them is horrible. There is no contract, sure, but you definitely get what you pay for and when it comes to CRICKET, this cannot be more true. I will be taking my business elsewhere because I never want to deal with this company again. Oh wait, I need to get my money back first. Damn it! When it comes to Cricket Broadband or Wireless, Caveat Emptor.

Reassessing my wishlist on this Blog

I just looked at my wish list on this Blog - let's see how we're doing shall we? I think it is time to delete and regroup and then add some more to the list.

Sleep - yeah, right - that can stay on the list cause it ain't happening.

Decent Nursing Bra- CHECK! Got it- right before I started work I knew I needed a more supportive one and one that would hide those embarrassing moments. So, yes, done and done!

Bathroom Door Construction - CHECK! Believe it or not, yes, this one is off the list because I got it done. During our basement finishing, this was also taken care of which is quite exciting.

Spa Day - CHECK! My husband treated me to an overnight at the Omni Interlocken and it was marvelous and spectacular. I loved it and cannot wait to do it again sometime.

Snow Blower- Duh-- how did that even make the list. Let my hubbie shovel away right?

So I will be editing my lists soon and adding some more- I think these are a must in light of recently assessing my personal needs and my family life:

Sleep will remain on the list along with spa days at least now and again.

I think I need a date alone with hubbie at least once a month. We have not had that in quite some time. Even if we curl up on the couch with some tea or ice cream after the girls are asleep and watch a movie, this is a must!

I need to add black basic coach purse to use for my military weekends on the list.

And of course, new fall clothes especially business attire. My current wardrobe is fitting snug and falls short of being professional at times.

I think once I edit the list, it will be more in line of recent events. Reassessing the wish list is a must and helps me prioritize what is important and needed as well.

Basement Finishing

We are having our basement finished. We are undertaking no small project, might I add, and when you add up the costs, you could probably get a pretty nice car for what you pay to finish a basement. You could always cut corners and do it rather cheap but then, you get what you pay for. We decided we would do it right or not at all and so we went straight forward. In looking at companies, we did everything - I did the service magic thing but in the end, we narrowed it down to two companies whom we had referrals for. Both came highly recommended. I was comfortable with one company and my husband another. Since my husband is the more picky one of the two of us, we went with who he wanted. Frankly, I did not want to hear about it later when things went wrong - and they usually do :-)

The "sales" side of the construction company assured us the basement would be done in 3 to 4 weeks. WRONG! As anyone who is familiar with construction knows, that is never the case. If they tell you 4 weeks, assume double that and you won't be disappointed. At this point, 3 weeks into it, I will be happy if they are out of my home in August. Needless to say, things are going okay. The basement looks great thus far - the dry wall has almost been finished and soon, it will be time for the bigger items like the paint, the walls, and the fixtures and cabinetry. It is coming together nicely and I am looking forward to the end product but it is interesting picking out things like countertop laminates, lighting fixtures, and cabinet colors. A remodel can be exciting but also tedious. You get what you want but at the same time it is a little work too. You get to design and build and it is kinda neat to see it all go down. Let's hope they finish soon so we can get in there and enjoy it before summer turns to fall.

Everything's better in Colorado....

I recently went on vacation to Virginia. It was a great family trip but of course, while I was there, I started to appreciate all the things back home - everything is better in Colorado once you leave it right? Of course, I love Colorado when I live in it too but here are just some of the things I missed. I definitely missed the dry weather. Sure, humidity is better for your skin but dry weather does wonders for your hair. My hair always looks better in Colorado which is why my wedding was there :-)

I really missed the mountains but alas, I had the ocean nearby in Virginia so that was a nice change of pace. I definitely did not enjoy the humid climate and the heat, my God, the heat, but I gotta say, there is something to be said about jumping into a cold ocean in that heat- it feels damn good! It also felt great to jump into the water park area at Busch-Gardens too.

All in all, we had a great trip but it is funny how you miss things you take for granted when you go away.

If I were an airline employee....

... I would definitely read this blog!

This weekend I had the fun experience of travelling again. Ah the joys of flying in America just makes me wanna buy my own airplane someday. We flew Southwest airlines this time and generally it is the best customer-service oriented airline out there... and that is actually true for the most part. The customer service I received before purchasing tickets and during the purchase was INCREDIBLE! While United, US Air, Delta, and others put you on hold for hours, Southwest has a call-back service- amazing! I loved it. The lady we got on the phone was awesome and took care of all the details for us.

Then came the day of travel which was not a busy travel day mind you - 4 July. We headed to the airport and arrived at the ticket counter exactly 1.5 hours before our flight time which is what the recommended time is for DIA and from Southwest's own website as well. In any case, the line was LONG - extremely long- it was winding around several times and looked horrible. Only 4-5 employees working when so many were travelling on Southwest. In any case we opted to stay in the line instead of checking in outside at curbside which was faster even though it was crowded - MISTAKE 1. I thought that because I was requesting special permission for my husband to escort us to the gate that it would be better to do with an agent inside- MISTAKE 2. We got to the front and got a bitch named Christine at the Southwest ticket counter. Let me tell ya - if you see her or her name, run - do not walk - go check-in outside. This woman clearly did not want to be there and did not want to be nice to our family to say the least. I was surprised my bags even made it to Norfolk. She refused to give my husband a boarding pass to help me to the gate with my infant and toddler. We asked a TSA lady afterwards if we could get a boarding pass for him and she was like -"of course- get it from your airline - we're not busy at all" The security lines took less than 5 mins to traverse.

So, we headed back to talk to the manager at Southwest at DIA and she looked more dissheveled than Christine but at least told us to find the lady at the end of the curbside check-in who would get it for us... GREAT! We should have just checked in outside. Now, mind you - we are 40 mins away from our departure time. The lady outside helped us promptly and we were on our way. Security at DIA was a breeze. If you travel with family and liquids, go through the special family line - it was moving I tell ya and in no time, we made it to our gate with just enough time to board. Time for nothing else - no food, no milk, no time for the restroom because of the goddamn line at check-in for Southwest. And if Christine had not wasted an additional 10 mins of my precious time, I might have gotten food for my kid and myself. So, this whole incident got me thinking. Christine, if you are reading, do read on. I had time on the 3-hour flight to think, how I would treat people if I were an airline employee that morning, working that Southwest counter at DIA on the
4th of July.

If I were an airline employee,

1. I'd appreciate having a job to begin with.
2. I'd treat customers who were good customers and not assholes with the same respect and courtesy they are showing me. After all, it costs NOTHING to just be nice.
3. I'd look at how long my line was and send one person out there to find out who would miss their flights and get them in line first.
4. I'd ensure that despite the long lines, I do all I can for the customers because they are loyal enough to purchase expensive-ass tickets with my company (and possibly save my job) instead of that "other" airline.
5. I'd not be a bitch to a woman with two kids travelling alone for the first time just asking for assistance from her husband. Cost to the airline- $0, cost to Christine (the bitch) - $0.
6. I'd be nice to passengers (once on board) and help them as much as I could because that is my job after all.

and finally, if I were an airline employee....

7. I would just smile and do my fucking job! If I did not like it, I'd quit and become part of an industry that is less customer-oriented and more computer-oriented or perhaps work mopping floors and cleaning toilets because that is where I belong.

Flying Solo

This past weekend, I flew solo with my two kids. Some call it being brave and amazing, I call it insanity. I also do not think I will be dabbling in these types of adventures again anytime soon. I was surprised that the first leg of the trip which was almost 3 hours long went well. My little one did not sleep though and neither did the toddler. However, my toddler was content reading, smiling at people around us and making faces at them and so was my infant. We spent time munching on airplane snacks, drinking juices and watching Sesame Street without sound. We landed at our connecting destination and things "appeared" fine. I got several thumbs up and "you're doing great!" encouragment from people around me and the flight attendants.... it was bound to go downhill from there and it did.

In Baltimore, my daughter refused to eat any food I got for her and sonce we are potty training her, that did not go well either. It all came to a "head" (so to speak) on Concourse B in Baltimore International. I think she was exhausted and then did not want to go "potty" in her diaper and was probably too constipated anyway so the entire thing went poorly - she was screaming from pain and crying - she exhausted herself after crying for 45 mins, refusing to get on the aircraft and worse, refusing to buckle herself in. Meanwhile, as she is screaming, my infant passed out in the ergo carrier. As I boarded the plane, as I wandered in the terminal and so on, people kept staring at me- I felt the weight of the stares, the weight of "talk", the weight of the smiles and many "awwws" and "ooooohs" of those who actually did understand and sympathized with me. A man travelling solo with his two kids on this 28-min leg of the flight actually helped me out and said it was okay. He had been through this too - his kids were 2 years apart. In any case, I felt horrible and cried a bit myself too. I was exhausted, hungry, and humiliated.

It was relief when she finally went and calmed down a bit and enjoyed her trip and visit with the grandparents and relatives. Flying solo is not easy so all you people out there who stare and judge - shut the "BLEEP" up and offer assistance. Oh I almost forgot - there was a guy in the row in front of me on the Denver to Baltimore leg who refused to move and let a mother sit next to her daughter. What an asshole! I do remember that and thought, thank god I rushed to get on board early so I could sit next to my two-year old. His excuse for not changing his aisle seat for another aisle seat was "well, I prefer to sit here because this passenger is more petite." What an ass. When I compared the two passengers, they were roughly the same size and both were nice and cute. Anyway, people like that give passengers a bad name and deserve to be escorted off the plane mid-air with a parachute in hand. Haa More to come on our trip in more postings.... Buckle up and enjoy the ride.