Westminster Mall- why even bother?

Last night we decided to take our daughter to see Santa at the Westminster Mall since it is about 2 miles from our home. This mall, mind you, is a disgrace to malls everywhere but generally has good anchor stores like Macy’s, JCPenney’s and Sears. Aside from that, the mall is a complete waste of space and there is nothing to eat save for the Chick-Fil-A. Why a land developer or mall developer would not do more, I am not sure because it is prime real estate in a prime location, and while Flat Irons Crossing Mall is only about 5 miles down the road using Hwy 36 West, I still think it is a waste not do something to make this mall more attractive to all.

For example, inside the mall are countless jewelers, Victoria’s Secret, Children’s Place, and other good retailers. There are also not so pleasant places like the dress shop that appears to cater to people who want very gaudy weddings/receptions – dresses with sequins. ARGH! Then, there are the food places – there is a firehouse grill or something like that is boarded up; a place that looked like it was a Greek place, boarded up, a Chinese place, and of course, my favorite – the pizza place that seemingly went out of business the day after I bought a slice of the yummiest pizza I have ever had. Go figure! Then there is the food court area (I use this term loosely) which is out of sight and unfortunately, out of mind with a horribly Subway and a Chinese place which may actually make you ill. When we took our sister in law and her kids there to take pics at Sears, she had that look on her face of appall and disgust. I was embarrassed but we were just there to take pics not eat.

Nonetheless I am baffled that the developer would not take the time to attract merchants and food places alike. Sometimes I think, like the 28th Street Mall in Boulder, you have to just shut down and start over. Clean Slate! Westminster Mall is a great candidate for a complete make-over. The mall, in its current state, is an eye sore for those who enter, and those who pass by on the street too. While it has big name anchor stores, even the Macy’s at Westminster Mall does not carry Polo or all the name brands you would expect a normal Macy’s to carry. My husband was looking for a Polo shirt but this Macy’s did not carry it. A lady checking out at the register whispered to us, “you need to go to the Macy’s at Flat Irons Crossing for that brand”. I guess the Westminster Mall is in such a crappy location, they can’t even carry all the brands. Wow! Even Ralph Lauren wants nothing to do with this crap-hole. I was amazed.

My daughter did see a Santa who looked like a seemingly normal Santa but she was not impressed. I guess she is still too young. Then we stood in line at Chick-Fil-A for about 20 minutes to get some food- it was the only concessionaire after all so, what can you expect? Don’t get me wrong, I like the convenience of the Westminster Mall and like to get our pics done at Sears but I think there have to be better plans for this area and this location. Westminster is not a bad area to live in and neither is Broomfield or North Arvada so I am confused at how this mall can end up as such a dump. I guess I will need to drive the extra 5 miles and stop my complaining. If you are considering going to Westminster mall - I would just say- don't bother!

Massage Jealousy

I had another so-so massage at Massage Envy and decided it was time to write this Blog. I became a member because when I was pregnant with my first child, I had some amazing prenatal massages down at the Massage Envy in Colorado Springs. So keeping tradition, I decided that with this pregnancy and all the early pains that started with it that I would get a 6-month membership and hoped I would find someone up here in the Denver area that I liked. So far, that venture has proven unsuccessful.

Ironically enough, as my previous posting stated, I absolutely love – love – love my new masseuse down in the Springs – he does the most amazing prenatal massage therapy. I call it massage therapy because he does a bit of physical therapy along with a normal massage, spends time getting to know my needs and pains and is just a great masseuse. He is leaving massage envy though so the membership may prove to be useless and leave me in a state of massage jealousy so to speak.

This guy who I was reluctant to see first because I was biased against male massage therapists is amazing and if there is a pain, it is gone within a day of his massages. Sadly enough, if I get a massage from someone else, sometimes those pains increase. It is very hard to find a good masseuse and after visiting three different Massage Envys, I still have not found that perfect masseuse in the Denver area so I keep going to my favorite one down in Colorado Springs. He has his own practice now so I try to schedule my time with him during military drill weekends. Unfortunately after January 12, I will not be down there until May (due to maternity leave) so he gave me a referral for someone up here and I look forward to trying out those services during the last 4 weeks of pregnancy but alas, it is not affiliated with Massage Envy. Let this serve as a cautionary note to you folks who are considering membership with a specific place like Massage Envy. Make sure the person you love love love is with the massage envy and plans on staying for a bit. Otherwise, it could all be for nothing and you too could end up with massage jealousy.

Victoria's "discriminatory" Secret

This is my 2nd pregnancy but even during my first, I have noticed that my favorite pre-pregnancy stores like Victoria’s Secret do not carry a maternity line nor do I see them making an effort to help women who are pregnant or nursing. It seems counterintuitive in my opinion to not tap into this market. Let’s analyze.
Victoria’s secret is the leader in the market for sexy lingerie, pajamas, bras, hosiery, and other “accoutrements” so to speak that you may need for … well, let’s face it – sex! Sex is what sells at Victoria’s Secret. It is often not about comfort when you purchase there- it is all about the sexiness you exude and the sex you will get as a result – well, hopefully.

So, why would Victoria’s Secret leave such a gaping hole in their market? Why would they not tap into the sexiest market out there – pregnancy and nursing? I have often wondered that and not realized the answer other than what my husband told me which is it runs afoul of their image. After all, they women to get laid and men to get excited but they do not want anyone to get pregnant? What?! Are you kidding me? Pregnant women are the sexiest creatures out there…. Sure, they get big and bloated and have bad gas sometimes and acid reflux but my God, they are procreating and often look irresistible during these times. Pregnancy is sexy and nursing is even sexier. How many women out there can feed a child and help that child grow? Her breast is out and a baby is sucking on it to extract nutrients? Are you kidding me? What kind of store would not tap into this market?

Here are some ideas- nursing bras; sexy nursing bras so that by night, this woman can get it on with her man should she wish, and by day, nurse in public. Here is another thought – nursing covers for those women who would like to hide her hooters from Uncle John who is visiting. What about maternity bras that can adjust to fit the woman as she progresses from trimester to trimester? What about the delivery gown? Doesn’t a woman in agonizing labor pain deserve a sexy gown to wear too? What about a nice cotton maternity panty for the pregnant woman? They can even use what they already sell and just make it maternity. After all, just because you’re pregnant doesn’t mean you do not have sex anymore- if anything, you need to make yourself feel even sexier. Why not tap into that line? I have never understood for the life of me and after my first pregnancy, I even stopped shopping there because frankly, I no longer feel connected to the store or that they serve all women. Maybe that is their goal - to only serve those who are not pregnant or nursing but I for one feel it is a little discriminatory and leaves out a huge piece of the market-the piece that may actually need the "secret".

What's so wrong with Pink?

This weekend I went to the bicycle store with my husband. It is not something I am into but we wanted to spend time together so we all went. While there, my daughter was enjoying touching everything, exploring her environment, and riding the Kettler bikes. While there, I noticed a couple enter the store with a little boy. I could only assume they were a couple but who knows? They could have been sisters.

Needless to say, they were shopping for a bike for a 3-year old boy who was with them. He was very interested in the tricycles and the bikes with the training wheels but just like my daughter, seemed very drawn to the pink bikes in the store – all of them. Even when the two kept steering him to the electric blue tricycle or the sporting royal blue bike with lasers (kidding), the little boy seemed to have a preference for the dainty, flowery pink ones. As the two kept defending the boy’s choice of color, I couldn’t help but wonder why we as a society cannot tolerate a boy on pink- what is so wrong with that?

Stereotypes drive me nuts! Girls need to become secretaries and nurses and boys can … well, do anything they want. Girls need to wear pink and boys wear blue. Heaven forbid our society tolerate a boy in pink. What’s so wrong with pink I ask you? What is so wrong with breaking the mold and the stereotypes that come with gender. From the day of birth in the hospital, there are pink and blue items. I am not sure why- is it so people can ID a girl from a boy? What is the reason for the color stereotypes? They just get worse as we grow up. After all, a girl cannot stay out too late but boys can run amuck in their teenage years. And what about the stereotypes kids face in school? They are ruthless.

If my assumption was correct about these two adults in the store and if they were truly together, I think they should be proud of their “son” and should buy him the pink bike. He may get picked on – sure, but isn’t overcoming ridicule and gender stereotypes a very important lesson and step in life – one that may be better if it comes sooner than later? I do not see anything wrong with blue for girls and pink for boys and in so much as I can help it, hope to do my part in breaking gender stereotypes.

Appreciation

My husband and I recently saw a movie that my brother recommended - called Slumdog Millionaire. Odd name, I know- a name that would not have dragged me to the movies. It was only playing at one theater in Denver- the Landmark Esquire. A theater, I do not really care for. They charge high prices and if you do not sit in the middle, you get a crick in your neck but unfortunately, the only theater in Denver that takes on arty, film-fest, award-winning films that mainstream theaters for some reason do not show.

I really enjoyed the movie but more than enjoying it, for me, I dissect a film weeks or months after seeing it especially if it made an impact on me. This one did. I have a daughter and one more child on the way and I could not help but wonder after watching this movie, how much I have and how much I have to be thankful for. It is strange for me to think I have done something in a previous birth or somehow been rewarded by heaven to be born into a family that loved me and took good care of me. From education, housing, and food to other items, I have not had a want for anything and have been very fortunate. This movie reminds us that not everyone experiences that and that there are less fortunate people in the world who have a want for the basic necessities in life. The focus is the slumbs of Mumbai near the airport - it is hard to miss flying in or out of the airport - they are to the left, to the right, and surround the runway. People live in these conditions daily and this movie is a bitter sweet tale of a young boy who grew up in the slums, his experiences, and how he tried to rise above it. It was a very well done movie and I have to say in retrospect, as I dissect the movie, it left me very thankful for what I had and the joys in my life.

If you have not seen it, I highly recommend it. If you have seen it, I urge you to reflect on it - there is more than a message of hope. I think there are messages throughout the movie to not want for things. Greed actually plays a huge role in the downfall of several characters while hope, faith, and trust are virtues in the movie which help other characters succeed.

It is hard to come by films which make you truly think these days and I am glad we came across this one. It is a definite must-see!

Got Change?

Yesterday I had the opportunity to see my baby’s face at a 30-week ultrasound. I was amazed at how clear things looked even though they were anything but clear. It was still nice to see that the little guy or gal is doing well – alert, kicking, moving, and a strong heart rate. I think it finally hit me that another life is on its way into our world and it is starting to freak me out. No matter how prepared you are for childbirth and the arrival of a new baby into your home, the first few weeks always find the parents dazed and confused. Change is hard on most everyone even those who are looking forward to it. I am sure we will be no different because for me, while the concept is great, I am starting to stress out a bit. What if I can’t do it? What if I can’t care for two? What if this kid is as active as our first? Then what? Will I have a nervous breakdown? Will my employer be supportive of my needs and issues? As you know, in this economy, people worry more about everything.

I am starting to dream more and more about the coming of this new life into our lives but mainly, I think it is because I realize things are about to change. I think that is the big thing in my life right now – CHANGE. It started with the election of my new commander in chief, and does not stop there. In January, I get two new bosses – two! I get a new boss at my full-time job and also with the Reserves. I am about to enter unchartered territory and while I know change is part of life and my career, I would remiss if I wasn’t a little nervous. For example, will the new boss support my need to take 16 weeks off or will I be let go? What if I can no longer work full-time or need accommodations? What will happen to me? What about the Reserves? Is the guy going to be family friendly or will it be mission first and the family suffers? Anyway, all these thoughts are going through my head and I wish I had a crystal ball to see into the future so I can put my mind at ease one way or the other- ‘tis better to know than to delve into the unknown. Perhaps the biggest change coming in 2009 that will affect my immediate daily life is the birth of our new son or daughter. It is going to be strange I think and I am not sure I am ready for the challenges that come with raising two. I still have not gotten used to the challenges that come with raising one. Heck, everyday is something new and as our daughter learns, so do we. I am lucky to have supportive friends and family and a husband who truly is a great dad and partner in my life. But I think the first six months we will both be delving into unchartered waters as we try to find balance with life, the children, and work. While I look forward to the adventure and challenge, I know there will be times when it will be very tough.

As I look at the pictures of yesterday’s ultrasound, and realize that only 10 weeks remain between us and this new life force, I feel it’ll be alright – people have done this for centuries and succeeded. Our parents raised us and everything seems to have worked out okay. I think in the end, change is what keeps us on our toes and keeps us from being complacent and change keeps our society progressing – so, in February, we will take the big change that enters our lives and do what we can with it to succeed – to be the best we can be as parents, as partners, and as humans. Change is more than a concept- more than a slogan and how we choose to view change and how we choose to react to it is what will determine our success , our adaptability, and our ability to grow.

Smoking can be hazardous to a Commander in Chief?

Yahoo News Story can be found at: http://news.yahoo.com/s/nm/20081207/pl_nm/us_usa_obama_smoking_3
This morning, I was listening to a local radio station which was hosting a discussion on our President-Elect's smoking habits. It was an interesting discussion. One guy claimed he did not know before the election that Obama was a smoker. Duh- he must not watch the news then because it was everywhere before the election. Second, another DJ was claiming he did not want a smoking President because that is not an image a President should be portraying in our modern day age. Granted, I think smoking is horrible. I would have a hard time if I were Michele Obama and had to kiss this man. Fortunately, I kiss another man's mouth.

Needless to say, I could not help but wonder whether I was concerned about this man leading our country and the free world and why people were so concerned about this considering how many Presidents have smoked cigars or in the case of one President, misused cigars to commit adultery in the White House. Are we really that shallow of a society? Do we not follow what is going on in our economy right now so much so that we are focused on the individual and personal choices a man has made for his health? Granted, as a role model to our nation's youth, I agree- I do not want the President to be displayed on TV puffing away. But, what the man chooses to do in his home or in the backyard of the White House is his business. People did not freak out excessively when Jack Kennedy was sleeping around with random women, or when FDR was drinking scotch. What about Jimmy Carter and those damn peanuts? Kidding of course, but why was there not an image issue when Clinton had sexual relations of some sort with a White House intern?

I am frankly amazed that people are so concerned about Obama's smoking that they are not focused on things that matter. If anything, how nice to see a human at the helm who understands health care issues especially the addictions associated with nicotine. Granted, I do worry about self control - I hope he is not vulnerable like this in other areas of his life. But, I simply think people are making too much of this and hopefully, we can all move on to more important things like health care, women's rights, and of course... oh yeah, the flailing economy.

Balance or Sacrifice?

My mom is currently living with us and she tends to be pretty old school about things in general – life, hobbies, raising family, and the roles that people should play in life. For example, she did not work when we were growing up, thus affording us the opportunity to have a full-time parent at our disposal 24-7. However, this came at a cost of my mom, dad, and my brother and I going without things and living within our means. It also meant my dad had to work harder and try to contribute to his retirement while feeding, educating, and clothing us. My mom said something interesting the other day when we heard a friend that I grew up with was getting divorced. She could not understand why this gal’s husband was such a louse after 2 kids – didn’t he understand responsibility and most importantly, sacrifice? My mom gave up countless hobbies to raise us. I am still at a loss to understand why but nonetheless this is touted as the cornerstone of raising children- sacrifice. I can understand going without so your child can have an education, clothes, food, but giving up things you may want to do seems a little extreme to our generation.

Now, I can understand if your hobbies are toxic- ie., drinking, smoking, recreational drugs, partying til 4am with the girls every weekend, etc., those are more lifestyle changes than giving up coin collecting, scrapbooking, poker with the boys, making jewelry, pottery, etc. And, we all have to make lifestyle changes when a kid comes along because let's face it - you can't do the exact same thing and expect the child to just fall in place. Also, if you can’t find time to do something, that may be a different matter. When I make a choice, it is usually between napping/sleeping OR doing something like watching a movie, going out, or scrapbooking into the wee hours of the night. For me, those choices tend to be a no brainer- I tend to always choose sleep! But, I do get to make the choice.

I think some parents of my mom’s generation believed sacrifice was the only way to raise a family- go without, give up things, and make choices to give up things that did not comport with a family lifestyle. Conversely, these days, you hear more and more parents of our generation using terms like “balance” and “choice” as opposed to sacrifice. For our generation, it is not about how much you gave up but rather, how well you can strike a balance between all the things you love- family, home, and those hobbies you enjoyed doing before you had a family. Once again, I am referring to activities and hobbies here not lifestyle changes. Some lifestyle changes are unfortunately, necessary. For example, I cannot sleep until noon any longer. I would feel wrong doing so as well because the weekends are the only time I get with my daughter it seems. In that sense, I do make a sacrifice of sleep but I do not even think of it that way - it is just something moms do. I think it is important to try to balance the important facets of your life. I remember my parents relaying stories of how they never went out or to movies because they did not want to leave us with a babysitter. I, on the other hand, think it is very important to carve out time for your spouse and each other and ensure that you have quiet times without the child- whether at home, at the movies, at a nice restaurant, or out on the town, it is important to have a date night. It is just as important for me to get out and get a massage or alone time to read a paper. It just clears my head. Once again, it is about balance not sacrifice. In either case, I find it interesting to hear stories about what my parents gave up or did not do as a result of us. It almost makes you feel bad when you hear the stories. Granted, I do not think we are better off or worse off as adults because our parents did those things. There are plenty of kids who turn out just fine and they went to a baby sitter occasionally or went to child care full-time. If anything, I think kids who grow up in a balanced home and observe balanced parents may actually fare better because they see how important it is to bring balance into their lives as well.

In the end, there is not a right or wrong way when it comes to this but I do think it is important to note how different two generations can be when it comes to even the simplest things.