The Big Easy

We went on a recent family trip to the Big Easy - N'awlins - my home town. When we planned the trip it was primarily for my law school 10-year reunion. As Murphy's Law would have it, my law school reunion was rescheduled due to Hurricane Gustav. Of course, I already had invested over $450 in tickets and rental car so we decided to make the trek to New Orleans. We stayed local because we were on limited time. The city is not the same – you definitely got that feeling as you drove through the neighborhoods, saw the rebuilding, and the boarded up stores, restaurants, and malls. It was strange to say the least to return but also very nostalgic for me. After all, I grew up for 17 years in the city before I moved up the road to Baton Rouge to attend law school for 3. My husband had been there before but my daughter had not so it was neat to take her and get some pics in the city but I am not sure she will remember her trip. But she seemed to be enjoying the food - both home cooked and eatin' out. My husband had a place on his list - he saw it on the Travel Channel called Willie Mae's. I think my daughter enjoyed the food. I was just hoping to get out of the neighborhood alive. This trip was more of reconnecting with friends and eating out - eating a lot :-)

Copeland’s was as usual, PERFECT food and the beignets and coffee are always good. It was an exhausting trip and our daughter missed her naptimes which made for crankier times later but all in all, she did good and it was a fun time. I wish we had more time especially to eat at Piccadilly’s – my favorite cafeteria eats in the world, and, perhaps take in more of the uptown area including Tulane University. Ah well… we will save up some things for next time whenever that happens.

The Show must go on!

Up until now I thought McCain was a waffler and a guy who truly could not make up his mind on the issues. When it comes to substance – things like stem cell research and abortion, he goes back and forth. He says one thing and votes another way. He said he was all for supporting for the war, and voted for the Iraq War but then was mad at the President. He has opposed things but then spoke out that he supports them. For example, he said he would like to see Roe v. Wade overturned but then now says he is okay with abortion in the cases of rape or incest as long as the woman can prove it. Oh, so now the victims of rape and incest have to prove they were raped. That is just dandy! Let’s revictimize the victims and just become Taliban-run Afghanistan when a woman was stoned to death because she was raped. After all, she was no good to her husband any longer.

I know, I know – a bit extreme but if you look at his record, it does not lie – he may lie, but his record does not. Just look at his voting record in Congress – he has been there long enough, and then compare it to what he says to try to win this election.

Now, there is a new ploy afoot by the McCain camp. It’s not bad enough they go and select a woman who can barely address any issue – she needs constant protection and man-cover because heaven forbid she speak freely to the press. It’s bad enough that they select her as a ploy to get “stupid” women voters to vote for the party, but now they are pissing Ole Miss, the nation, and all the voters off by trying to delay the debates. It is one thing to postpone their convention so that Gustav could hit Baton Rouge and the coast of Texas, but now they want an entirely new debate schedule because they are not (excuse me) “man enough” to face the facts! Come on! Either you know it or you don’t, another 2 weeks is not gonna make you great orator, Senator. But I tell you what, you are pissing off people who were even thinking about voting for you by pulling tactics like this. Ask a REAL Hockey Mom as she juggles her 2-3 kids, her work, and her family life --- ask her if she can postpone changing her 15-month old infant or breastfeeding her 3-month old because well…. Franky her husband wants dinner on the table. COME ON man, get a grip, get a blackberry and learn how to videoconference. You can focus on more than one thing and if you can’t, you should not be President and certainly not running for the office. There are schedules and appointments to keep – LIFE GOES ON …. Get a grip man and go to Mississippi, get mud on your face like we all expect, and then return back to D.C. for the Monday budget stuff. Stop being so whiny and annoying and learn how to use some technology while you are at it.

The Debates MUST and SHOULD go on!
http://www.olemiss.edu/debate/

OUCH! That's an open canal, man!

This morning, I had another experience with my singing dentist. As he sang, "raise your hands to heaven and pray..." I also raised my hands to heaven to pray this man would stop singing as he plowed through open canals in my mouth - exposed for the finishing touches of a root canal. I thought this morning as I made my wayt to the dental office again that I would be done with it ... that this was the day! Alas, it is not to be. I have to make yet another trip. Apparently, my canals are very complicated - curvy and hard to reach. Great! I am a borderline candidate to be referred outside to an endodontist. I wish they had in honesty because I want this done with. 5-months pregnant and recovering from illness this past weekend, the last thing I want is three appointments, 6 shots to numb the area, and drill drill drill! Needless to say, the experience left me very much in pain and unable to take anything good like 800 mg of Ibuprofen. Woooes me

In the future, when a dentist suspects I need a root canal, I have decided it is better to pay more and make a trip to the endodontist - they are quicker, seem to have all the cooler toys, and perhaps can cause less complications because they have seen the worst case and the easiest case and everything in between. But for now, I press on hoping this mind numbing pain will soon subside.

Mommy & Me

I should state from the start of this blog that this is a generalization and of course, not one formula fits all but I have gotten the impression recently from watching world-famous male athletes that moms have a lot to do with the success of their sons in sports - from Lance Armstrong to Michael Phelps and some in-between. It got me to thinking how their moms must affect their personal lives. Michael Phelps is not married yet so in truth, this is not a fair experiment but I wait with baited breath to see how his married life does.

Needless to say, I watched the interview with Oprah when Lance Armstrong's mom was there, cheering him on, defending his honor, and addressing the cancer and divorce that Lance faced. I could not help but wonder if she played a role in that break-up. Moms who are too close to their sons, while instrumental to their success, can also be a detriment in their personal lives. It just got me to thinking and I am just more aware now.... and as I watched Michael Phelps take his 8th gold and his mom appear in several interviews with him as well, I could not help but wonder if his personal life was heading for the same fate. Like I said, it is a bit generalized but I think a mother-son relationship, like all relationships needs its boundaries and has to have its own rules. Otherwise, it is hard for the son to maintain a healthy marriage with the new woman in his life. If the son is comparing the new woman to his mama, that can be a problem too especially one who has played such a big role in the son's life. In the case of sons who are successful because of their moms, the absence of a father-figure intensifies this bond.... so, it is something to be aware of when getting involved with someone who is close to his momma.

Reality v. Fiction

We watched a movie last night called “untraceable” which highlighted a problem I think is very prevalent in our world today – people who are very curious about everything and anything except for their own lives. It was a disturbing movie (maybe that is what kept my daughter up at night) about how people log into a website because people are being killed on it – tortured and killed, live on the internet streaming into your home, your ipod, your blackberry, and so on. It was disturbing because so many people seemed curious about watching someone else suffer a horrible painful death and then, die. It made me start to realize that this fictional movie is not far from reality at all.

As a kid growing up, we had a few channels of TV but hardly ever heard of or even knew what reality TV was – it was just not done. Sure, there were cute game shows like the NEWLYWED GAME, FAMILY FUED, or the GONG SHOW, but there was nothing like what you see today – people living in a house trying to hurt one another emotionally or cut each other down, or worse, WIFE SWAP where wives are swapped from household to household to give people a taste of something worse or better. WHAT!?? Really?! Are you kidding me? The sad truth is that people tune in by the millions to watch this spectacle take place. People tune in and sit on the edge of their seats as the next heart throb picks his leading lady on the BACHELOR. It makes people feel good to watch these shows which is frightening really. The scary thing is that my daughter is growing up in this screwed up world.

Needless to say, beyond truth and fiction, and beyond the boob tube, people in real-life are curious too. I witnessed another guy almost swerve off of I-70 this morning because he was too busy looking to see what was happening on the shoulder: a cop was helping in the final stages of what appeared to be an accident. However, there was nothing to see- quite literally – NOTHING but this man was so enthralled with the flashing lights and the fact that people were walking, he could not help himself. I thought to myself, how is that his or anyone else’s business. Maybe if the people who got in the wreck had paid attention to what they were doing instead of worrying about something else, maybe that accident never would have happened. Maybe if people worried about their own lives, tried to spend more time with their kids, with their spouses, instead of watching useless reality shows and trying to get involved in their neighbors’ or co-workers’ lives, we would not have the problems we have in society – high divorce rate, high rate of unemployment, high rate of unhappy miserable people, and a high rate of abuse of drugs and alcohol by children. Obviously, we cannot solve all our problems in a day or a week or even a decade but here’s to hoping that we become a society of people who can focus on what matters instead of things that really do not.

Hockey Mom? Shut the PUCK Up!

I have really been watching this new phenomenon to LOVE Sarah Palin by women across this nation. I am all for women as President and Vice-President and definitely for women's rights but I am not sure she is the right woman for the job.
There are some very disturbing things about her record especially pro-life notwithstanding rape or incest. I wonder if Sarah Palin would change her tune if one of her daughters had to face that very difficult... choice! I wonder how Sarah Palin would feel if she stepped down from her $200/day per diem, home nanny, and other nice things to discover there is a world out there where some women cannot raise children without federal support or in the case of severe disabilities discovered by the 17th week of pregnancy, some women cannot raise special needs children. Maybe if Sarah Palin actually raised her special needs child, she would understand that it is not an easy job. Being on the road as much as she is, I do not think she gets it! Now, Now, as I said, I am a working mom and I support women. I do not question her abilities to lead our nation just because she is a mom or my personal belief that she should put family first but I do question her ability to lead because of her lack of experience, knowledge, and her judgment- I think she is someone who has shown repeated lack of judgment. How someone acts in their private life, the term the conservatives call "FAMILY VALUES" really says a lot of judgment and character of the person. While family values are so important to these righteous Christian conservatives, I have not seen Palin putting family first - despite leaking amniotic fluid and in labor, she took an 8-hour flight to Alaska. Selfish! Despite giving birth to a child on day 1, she returns to work on day 3. Those are not family values. Despite her son going off to Iraq, she continues to put the campaign first instead of remaining with the other children right now.

It is nice that her daughter got a choice in what to do with her future. I was happy to see that she was fortunate enough to make some "choices" with her reproductive rights. Not all women will get that if Palin and McCain take to Washington. It is a shame really because as a woman she should support a woman's reproductive rights but far from that, Palin does not even know the science of it all!

I want a woman in office who can make REAL CHANGE for women, science, reproductive rights, breast cancer research, and who can make a real impact for working moms- paid maternity leave from employers - that should be on the agenda... not "how to ignore your kid and return to work early." That is not someone I would consider a role model for women. Palin is not someone I would have my daughter aspire to grow up and be like other than sitting in a nice cushy leadership position that she has no business being in the running for to begin with. I want to see more than special needs children initiatives in Washington - REAL CHANGE would mean equal pay for equal work. REAL CHANGE would mean protection of the working mom and her right - not priviledge - HER RIGHT to put her family first especially for the first 12-16 weeks of that child's life. I want REAL CHANGE in science and technology and support of programs so that one day there is a cure and not a "race for the cure". I hear nothing from Palin on these issues. All I hear is "I am a hockey mom and I do not know much." Well, really? Because I am not sure you can drive your kid to hockey practice much less attend a game these days. All I hear is "I stopped a bridge to nowhere." Yes, but you took the money to get it started didn't you? All I hear is "I am a reformer and a Maverick especially when it comes to ethics." Where were your ethics when you hid your pregnancy for 7 months from family, friends, and your constituency?

You're damn right - I am an angry working mom who works hard, plays hard, and all the while, tries to balance work and home but my family comes first... those are true family values. I am a woman who fights THE MAN Daily in my job and do not get handouts- I often do not get recognized for the hard work I do because I am a woman who has a family THAT COMES FIRST!!!! I am angry at the women out there who were going to vote for Clinton and are now going to vote for McCain simply because he picked Palin - she is not Clinton - you better read the facts. Just because she is a woman does not mean she will fight for your rights in D.C. If anything, she is the complete opposite of Clinton. You better read the facts before you get another 4-8 years of what we are dealing with now and if you think you have a friend in her because she is your "everyday, run of the mill mom" think again! I think in the case of election someone for President, you have to look at more than just gender, more than just race; you have to look at what kind of person you are electing and whether they really are who they say are. In the case of Palin, I'd really like to see her put the PUCK where her mouth is - I have not seen that yet.

Stop listening to the media, stop listening to your flaky neighbor or co-worker - Get the REAL facts on all candidates and the issues:
http://www.politico.com
http://www.slate.com/id/89160/
http://www.wvtf.org/news_and_notes/elections.php

Be proactive and take a stand --- don't vote for McCain just because he picked a woman! Get to know all the candidates before you make such an important decision in November.

I see Stupid People!

Yesterday, I sat at a light for 10 minutes longer than I should have - okay it was like 3 minutes because some yahoo in front of me decided to stop and watch two cops stopping a man in a pick-up truck from another direction of traffic altogether. He was watching so intently, he missed an entire light cycle. After missing said light cycle, this moron in front of me continued to look right towards the gas station where this guy was pulled over to watch the "drama" unfold. It was so unnerving to me. I could not believe that people could be so curious to begin with and that they would miss a light to just stare a little longer. Yes, the guy got pulled over. No one knows why but do you have to make him feel worse by staring for 6 minutes? Does that make your life feel better? I couldn't help but wonder why people were so fascinated with reality TV these days and others' lives. I was sure if the guy stared longer he'd have a crick in his neck.

Later that same evening, I picked up our daughter at daycare and was returning when I saw lights in the far right lane- shouldn't effect the fact that I am turning left, right? WRONG! This one lady was so concerned she stopped 4 car lengths behind the only car waiting to turn left, thereby blocking me. Then, almost missed the light as she looked to see what was going on. I beeped my horn because this was a light I did not want to sit at for 5 minutes with my daughter screaming for food in the back. She went, only to help me miss the next light. People will not stop to help someone in need but they sure will stop to see who is getting picked off by the police for going over the speed limit or having expired tags. It seems as our country faces more international concerns, terror abroad and at home, and economic crisis, people are just getting stupider. Yes, and this is the same populus that will elect our next leaders - SCARY SCARY STUFF!

Tooth Aches = Wallet Aches

So I had to have an emergency root canal today and it was not fun. What medical or dental procedure is, really? Anyway, harder than getting tooth work done is paying for it afterwards - I really miss being part of the Air Force where all dental care was covered. It is easy to forget how many benefits you got in the military. Needless to say, this procedure was not as bad as I expected and the worst of it was the initial needle for the anaesthetic and the drilling to get the temporary filling out.

Now, I am just trying to rest and get the feeling back in the left side of my mouth and smoothies, here I come! I think most people can expect to set aside about $2000a year for medical things like this and hopefully can use a flex health spending account. In the meantime, when you hear you have to pay $xxx for the pain you just experienced and will for the next few weeks, it really aches your wallet too! Keep flossing and brushing.

History in the making

I am currently enthralled in the 2008 election and both candidates are interesting. I love Barack Obama- he is truly a great man and a great leader. I remember being baffled when John McCain was nominated as the Republican nominee because he waffles on issues so much and sometimes goes one way and another time, goes another way – so, it was quite confusing to me how a contrarian could get the party nomination. I really like Barack Obama, but there are times when I wonder whether he has run for this office too soon. Of course, as you heard, “Now is the time.” I am amazed how much this country is divided over racial, gender, reproductive, and science-type issues. The country is not divided over economics but seems divided by social issues and issues which are affected by religion such as abortion, stem-cell research, reproductive rights, censorship, gambling, and the like.

I was surprised by McCain’s choice for VP but apparently, he knew what he was doing- she is attracting a lot of attention and seems to be bringing McCain’s numbers up. Of course, people who are true intellectuals and not voting with their heart, realize that she has little to no experience and is a heartbeat away from the Presidency. It is one thing to be an inexperienced VP, but an inexperienced President who has a lot of distractions in her personal life seems like a bad choice. McCain, if elected, would be the oldest elected and oldest sitting President – granted, people live longer these days but who knows what tomorrow holds?

In the end, I am looking forward to the debates and seeing what happens but my choice will be made not by my heart but rather, the issues. As far as the candidates go, I am confident that the Presidential candidate (whichever one becomes President) has the courage to lead this country in the right direction and will do so, gracefully. I am impressed with both candidates, their ethics, and high ideals, but more importantly, I think they can both represent America positively in the global sphere. Only about 59 days away, I am really looking forward to this year’s election more than year’s past. There seem to be great candidates and some interesting issues. No matter who wins, the country and the world will go on. I have to say though, whoever wins, history will be made and I look forward to it.

Omaha- Oh My!

This week, I had the opportunity to travel to Omaha, Nebraska, on business. Business matters aside (which were tedious), I had a great time in Omaha and exploring the city. It is a nice city and the downtown, riverfront area along with Old Town are quite neat. The restaurants are not chain by any means, and the shops are quaint and very inviting. I was impressed with the city and how clean it was too. Did you know, just across the river from Omaha, you can visit Iowa? There are riverboats and river cruises and a lot to do and see. I certainly think it is a place that my family and I can visit together sometime. The hotel I stayed at, the Hilton Garden Inn was very nice and the hospitality is unsurpassed! If I had to return here, I would stay here again for sure. It is just three blocks from Old Town and right across the riverfront area.

Unfortunately, I had to dine alone on the one dinner I could have in town because my friend had an emergency so I am bummed out that I missed her but it is exciting to check out a new city, its people, and its eats. I am no foodie but it is nice to have a nice meal out.

My top ten list

I recently decided to make a top-ten list of the things that I am not just grateful for, but the things I truly love in my life whether I express how much I appreciate them or not. In truth, I have a lot to be thankful for and so I have decided to keep lists when I can. Here, I have listed five of them.... in another blog, I will reveal the other five.

One, I love love love cuddling and snuggling with my 15-month old daughter who occasionally may pull my hair and it hurts and while that is annoying, I LOVE the time I have with her and I know I will look back on this time and miss it and remember it fondly.

Two, I love the laughs I can share with my husband- over just about anything - a joke, a funny, something mundane like daily life routine, or a funny noise made. I love that we can look at each other and just laugh and three years later, can get each other ... finally!

Three, I love it when my daughter says another word... from "more" to "mama" to "no", every day is an adventure and I eagerly await the next one.

Four, I am thankful to have a job where I am appreciated, needed, and liked - I truly enjoy working with the colleagues who are also my friends. I feel like I were to leave this job, people would truly miss me and that makes me feel - well, special.
Jobs come and go, but the people truly define the environment.

Five, I am thankful that I am able to wake up and fall asleep in the most beautiful state I have lived in thus far - I do not think people take time to truly see the surroundings and appreciate what beauty there is in the mountains, in the sunshine for over 300 days a year, and the glorious clean air they breathe in even on hot and muggy days. Lately, I have decided to stare at the mountains more, to take in the air and really breathe it, and to watch as the fall colors blend in with the Colorado landscape.

Gratitude is a wonderful thing... stay tuned for more....

Party Poopers!

Recently, since the arrival of our kid and her birthday party, we have been invited to many birthday parties of other kids her age and some a little older. Each party is a little different of course, and the most fun have been the ones that are small, private functions at homes where people can talk and the kids can roam about and play. It is interesting what diverse thoughts go into planning them too. There was one that was extravagant and obviously cost a lot with party favors totalling probably about $10.00+ per kid. That is on the high end. I have also seen the low end where party favors probably totalled $0.50 per kid and were rather lame. Choice of food also runs the gambit from overdoing it with seven different kinds of food like we had at our child's party to just finger appetizers - load up! 'Cause nothing else is coming!

There has been the occasional party where things were in the middle too - just the right amount of food, cake, drink, sandwich material and appetizers. Of course, priorities are different for parents and each parent has his or her idea of what is "appropriate" at a child's birthday party. I think it depends on age too. The older the kid gets, perhaps the more elaborate the party. After experiencing many parties - probably not enough yet but, after planning my child's 1st birthday party and observing parents and children alike at other parties, here are just some thoughts - take it or leave it:

(1) If you invite people to your home or to a party venue, don't skimp. Just go ahead and feed them - if there are leftovers, that is acceptable. Don't count dollars after you have decided to do this. Do it right, or don't do it at all!

(2) While finger foods are fine as an appetizer or for people to graze, there should be some hot food or some food especially because often, people are travelling so far to attend. They are not attending merely to hang out with you. Moreover, parents bring gifts for your child so feeding them is not just an option or after thought, it is a must and a courtesy especially if you want them to come in future years.

(3) Fruit and veggies tray are nice, but people cannot fill up on them and remember, they are just filler foods, or a preview to some other course that should be served- something hot and no, people - chips and salsa do not count as a meal either.

(4) It is not about you - this party is for your kid and his or her germ-infested, biting, cranky, and teething friends to attend. The parents are there because they feel obligated. Providing some sustenance will only help the situation.

I think the best kids' party we went to involved parents serving an assortment of items- not just filler foods. I enjoyed one party where, instead of pizza, there was a make your sandwich platter and all the fixings. They did not run out of bread and cheese, and afterwards, there were dessert options other than just cake. It was low key and very informal and everyone got to know everyone else there including the kids.

What parents tell themselves

Well, it has happened.... against my better judgment, my child has become the child I feared long ago but swore that would never happen to me. Don't all adults who want to be parents have to tell themselves the same thing in order to procreate? Oh no, my child will never end up like that! The truth is you never know.... but I think it is good that couples still believe that their child could never be bad or end up like the kid throwing pasta and rolls, or we would have a population crisis on our hands.

Anyway, our child is approaching that age where she is having a mind of her own and wants what she wants. She is getting an attitude and gets cranky when she does not get her way. And it is even worse in public. Her shrieks send chills down my spine and in public, it makes me cringe even more. So, we are there.... we are now the parents that others look at and our screaming child and say, "that'll never happen to us."

It's a good thing too because if they did not believe that, they may never have childen of their own. We are hoping for the best as she approaches her 2-year mark and we face the prospects of another child. Maybe had we seen this behavior before we got pregnant, we might not have .....