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Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Repetitive Mistakes

I recently saw a movie which really got me thinking. Thinking? What!? Yes, a movie I saw recently really got me thinking. I saw "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind." What a neat idea. When you are fed up with a relationship or really burdened with something, just have that chapter of your life erased from your memory, leaving you free to live the rest of your life. Wouldn't it be neat - I mean think about it. I am at this crossroads now in my life. How easy it would be to just erase my relationship or my career and then that would enable me to pick one or the other because I would not know about the other. Confused?

What's ironic about erasing your mistakes, your scary and not so good moments, is that you forgot you went through that. You no longer have memory of making the mistake, or going through the pain and therefore, you are more liable to make those same mistakes over and over. The more you erase, the more you are liable to repeat in love, career, and life in general. While the general concept of removing feelings toward a person we had sounds quite exciting for some of us gals who have had difficult break-ups into our 30s, I think to myself what my life would be like today if I did not have the memory of the loser guy I dated last year who bordered on abusive behavior. What if I had erased the memory of how it felt when I was stood up for a date, or what if I did not have the memory of responding appropriately to a potentially unethical situation? I think how much different my life would be because I would still be out there meeting the same types of guys, making the same mistakes, and of course, never learning from them or becoming a better person.

This movie, although aggravating to watch at times, really got me thinking about how important it is to know yourself, and part of getting to know yourself is of course, through life experiences. When we erase bad memories or hurtful memories, we are depriving ourselves of the opportunity to grow and learn and become the higher level beings that evolution teaches us we should be. So, next time you are wondering how you can get that guy out of your head, or the pain out of your heart, embrace the image, take on the pain and let it go through your body. Release it by using what you have learned in future relationships or future career decisions. Eternal Sunshine of a spotless mind? I think not!