The other day I was talking with a friend of mine who I have not talked to in a long time. Last year I was having trouble with my relationship and she remembered that time in my life. This time, we were talking about my impending decision to take a different path in my life - one that may require me to give up my job.
She said to me, "you are giving up a lot," and asked me, "what is HE giving up for you?" This one question got me to thinking. Is that what relationships are about? Quid pro quo, or is it more of an understanding between two people who are entering an union for life? Do both parties in a relationship have to necessarily give something up in order for the relationship to go forward?
We have too many expectations these days - in our job, in our careers, in our children, on the man or our dreams. It seems like more and more women are getting married later and later in life because they envision the perfect man - the man who will rub their tired feet at the end of the day, the professional man, the man who will save them, etc. In fact, those same expectations are put to the test in daily life - the perfect bed, the perfect house, the perfect friends, and alas, the perfect job with the perfect work mates and boss who will fulfill them.
Problem is - these expectations are not only unrealistic, they are unhealthy to hold on to. In love and life, it is important to remember wat you are giving to the relationship and not what you will get back in return. I often forget this important lesson as well. In life, and love, it is important to remember that we have choices but we have to make those choices knowing what we want and what we want to give to this world without the expectation that we will receive in return.
Quid Pro Quo is not healthy in any relationship. My answer to my friend was simple: He doesn't have to give up anything for me. I choose to do this - this is a choice and I expect nothing in return. I can't expect anything in return - it would be unhealthy and in the end, I would be disappointed no matter what HE gave up for me.
