I had a dental appointment today after about 9 months of not seeing them. The last time I saw them was probably August or September of last year. 9 months is too soon to see the dentist in my opinion and 6 months is way too soon! Personally, I think it is a ploy to make money off of people – after all, people pay insurance which in turn gets paid to these blood thirsty dentists.
So, this is how the visit went down. I first met with a very nice person who polished my teeth and flossed them. I thought it was about to end when the hygienist came in. She seemed like a nice lady but not as a thorough as the last guy I had. I actually liked the last hygienist I had. He did less talky and more cleany. So, this one could not stop talking while I had a scraper to my teeth. She was a nice lady but had a lot of questions. Do you have kids? Are you married? Where do you live? Do you work or are you a stay at home mom? Hello! Who watches your kid when you go to work? I was getting a little annoyed because I could not answer except in between my spit being sucked by a tube – you know which one I am talking about. The last lady let me sleep as she polished and flossed…. Why can’t you do the same?
Needless to say, that ended and I thought after the fluoride I was finished. I was not. Then, came the dentist to do his exam. This was the yahoo I heard earlier singing Elton John’s “good bye Norma Jean”. I kid you not. He was your typical arrogant newbie type dentist who kept humming to every tune on the radio. It was even more frustrating than 20-question lady whom I could handle. Bad singing, on the other hand, while my mouth was being poked and prodded, not so much fun. He was singing, “Celebrate, good times… Come on! It’s a celebration.” I was doing anything but celebrating. I was thinking to myself – I’d like to jam the tooth device he is using to hurt me into his celebratory little forehead, which is all I could see anyway amidst his googles and mouth mask. He kept on singing “it’s a celebration…. Celebrate, good times” as he spotted a couple of trouble spots. He spotted two of the same spots the last doc did but as he compared last year’s notes with what he saw he boldly stated, “I do not agree with the other two things they found – just these. Can you take pictures and show her?” Boy, I thought to myself, glad I did not get the dental work they recommended last year done for the low, low price of $2000 because now it is reduced by almost $1400! The girl I saw first who did the polishing in silence took some pictures with a new camera/laptop combo device they had. Then, came the worst part of the whole trip – seeing the receptionist on my way out.
The receptionist, mind you, was the one who chided me when I made my appointment, telling me I needed to come back every 6 months or I’d be put on some list. “Drink the Kool-aid or else.” Yeah, we’ve heard that before. She gave me the proverbial price list, made an appointment for me in NOVEMBER! I kid you not … November- 6 months out. She asked “Will 8am work for you?” I responded, “Yeah, why not? I will probably just call you and reschedule because I do not know what I am doing November 20th much less tomorrow.” And, off I went. So I thought. She stopped me and asked me when I wanted to come in for the dental work that had to be done. I was like, “I will call when I am ready.” She retorted, “Are you sure, if you make the appointment now, you will have it all set.” I quickly replied, “I may not even get it done, but I will call when I am ready.” She gave me a look that could have stopped traffic. All I could think of as I ran – literally, ran out of the dental office, was, “will that singing dentist be working on my filling and crown or can I please schedule when he is out of town?” Seriously… can you imagine 2 hours or more in that uncomfortable chair, mouth propped open, drool spilling from both sides of your numb cheeks, listening to doc singing more bad tunes? I do not think so! I wish I had had this dentist when I was much younger, I might have flossed and brushed better – all to avoid the singing dentist. Til next time folks, Happy Flossing and make sure you brush at least twice a day.
