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Wednesday, February 18, 2009

How soon do you share the news?

Lately as a result of technology like email, blogs, and facebook, I am learning of friends' pregnancies. While it is cool to learn of my close friends' pregnancies around 12 weeks or so (since we share many things), it is odd to learn of others' pregnancies through a posting on facebook only to find out that their due dates are 9or more months out. I guess I am being judgmental when I write this blog but after my first experience with pregnancy (which ended in a blighted ova or no pregnancy at all), I feel that sharing too much too soon with too many can be risky. I always wish the person who shares their pregnancy news well but I often wonder how early you should share the news with distant friends. It is one thing to share news with family and close relatives but through a technological medium like facebook, is it appropriate to share pregnancy news at 4 weeks, 8 weeks, or even 10 weeks? What if the person has had the misfortune of miscarriage once or twice before?

Needless to say, I am not judging but only making an observation and while I admire those who are confident and can share early, I know for me, it was news I did not share with distant friends or colleagues until 16 weeks. On my second time, I started showing by 3 months so it was becoming harder and harder to hide after 12 weeks. Another "Friend" on facebook also shared pics of her nursery bedding. They have already ordered it and they are more than 8 months out. With my first, I did not even shop until after 6-7 months because I was worried I would jinx something. I guess I am always nervous and a bit superstitious and it is refreshing to see others who are not. For me, I would not share or feel comfortable sharing til after 12 weeks even with family. Definitely, I would not share anything until after the first ultrasound at 8 weeks because once you see the heartbeat the chance for miscarriage is greatly reduced but it is refreshing to see others confident and uninhibited. I suppose they are just leaving it all to God which is fine too.