I remember when I was using an online Indian dating service sometime ago, some of the guys on there would post questions like, "Do you cook?" It was very important to them. I always thought they were pigs. Now, I understand why they asked that very important question up front. I suppose if you can't cook, it becomes important to find a partner who can.
Lately I have been faced with an embarrassing situation as I posted want ads at Indian grocery stores for food/tiffin service. In our culture, this means, I would like meals to go- already assembled, already cooked- all I do is pick it up, go home, and heat it up, feed it to my daughter and eat it. It is kinda sad because this has made me feel somewhat inadequate as an Asian-Indian woman who thought she could juggle it all.
As far back as I can remember, I hated cooking. I remember my mom slaving away in the kitchen for hours and cooking up yummy meals for our family to eat but still, this did not inspire me learn to cook the favorite dishes. For some reason, I always relied on her and never ventured too far from home. Sure, I delved into experimenting and making dishes here and there but somehow, to me, they never tasted as good as mom made them or something would be off. It seemed that when I made a dish based on a recipe (a true written recipe in a book or magazine), it turned out good but if I strayed a little from a recipe or worse, tried my hand at Indian cooking, which involves throwing a bunch of spices into the pot and hoping it turns out right, it never tasted quite right. Keep in mind that all Indian women are taught to cook by throwing a pinch of this, a shot of that, or a fistful of that - it is not accurate. I remember making a mean eggplant parmesan when I followed this recipe book I have, or the mac ‘n cheese from scratch which turned out so good, people asked me for the recipe at a work potluck. Granted, occasionally I got lucky and a dish worked out just right but my point is – I have never been great at cooking and over time, I got discouraged and lost motivation to try because I always wasted so many ingredients, so much time, and worse, all the pots I had used had to now be cleaned! Over time, however, I was able to turn ready to eat meals, pre-prepared frozen foods, or mixes which made my life a little easier but wouldn’t you know it? Every now and then, I would mess that up too! Sometimes the pre-prepared stuff and the ready to eat stuff is just not the same and the preservatives take away that “je ne sais qua” from what a true Indian meal should taste like.
Someday I hope to find time and motivation to practice some and hopefully, cook delicious meals for my family … but I suppose in the meantime, I will hide my shame from people who I know are judging me, and post my signs up to ask for help because I really enjoy home cooked meals every now and then and those who can’t do…. Pay for someone else to do, I suppose. Next time I see someone being asked whether they cook, I guess I will not be so quick to judge.
