I used to learn about the "Art of War" by Sun Tzu, but I never quite learned the Art of Communication so I draw upon daily experience. Today was no exception.
This morning started off with my boss changing my travel plans for the fifth time. I am supposed to attend a conference in Portland next week and initially I was attending two days and returning, and then I was attending three days and staying an extra night. Now, I am again only attending 2 days, 2 nights. Then, instead of asking for the morning of Wednesday, 7 May off, I told my boss that I would not be here (at the office) on that morning. Poor choice of words I suppose. His reply was, “not granted. I need you to be at a staff meeting in my place and take copious notes.” He stated it twice. Yikers! I realized I did not ask to be off that morning but rather had stated that I would be off. Oh oh! Another lesson learned- not thinking before you speak sometimes can cause the other party to presume you stated something instead of asking for permission.
Then, I asked the secretary who made my original travel reservations some time ago for my confirmation code so I could call United and check seat assignments, frequent flyer number, and the like. Wow! That turned into quite the ordeal. She gave me a record locator for the travel agency instead of the United Airlines confirmation code so that obviously caused some more confusion. I had a different number (the confirmation code) and she had the record locator (travel agency internal code). She now thought that there were two record locators out there and we would be charged twice. She almost cancelled my travel reservations thinking there were two locators out there. Needless to say, this is just an example of the confusion that can result with communication even we all speak the same language.
Communication is the key to success or failure in a professional and personal relationship- if you communicate effectively, success! Lack of effective communication in any relationship over time can be detrimental. If every time my infant daughter asked for food, I put her to sleep, things could get ugly as they often do. “What does she want?" I think to myself when she cries. Is she trying to tell me something? Obviously, something does get lost in translation and we all suffer until we can figure it out.
I remember writing a blog sometime ago about communication and how so much can get mangled because of a simple word, a simple gesture, or even a misunderstanding. I think this morning’s encounters serve as examples of that. Communication is a wonderful thing – we can build nations using it properly, we can mend broken ties, and build beautiful relationships if it used effectively. But, is the person seeing eye to eye with you or are you communicating one-way? It is one thing to think you are a good communicator, and another to do it effectively. A good measurement of effectiveness is whether both parties can communicate well and understand each other and then, act on what is communicated. If one person does not understand or cannot read the other, a miscommunication may have resulted. Ahh…. I get it now!
