I remember when Hillary Clinton first coined the phrase, "It takes a Village", through her book on the concept of how so many people shape the lives of children, not just mom and dad. It is a really good read on what it takes in our modern society to raise children, what an amazing gift parenthood is, and why it truly takes more than just the parents to raise a child. No matter how old, a child is shaped by her parents, the grandparents, the neighbors, the kids in school or day care, the minister or pastor, the policeman who was kind to the child, the teacher, the doctor, and the friends of the parents.
The philosophy of "It takes a Village" is not new to the rest of the world but may be to many Americans who often feel isolated from friends and family. Living states apart, Americans are more novel to the concept of the Village than European or Asians.
I started to wonder if the "village" your child is raised in impacts his or her development - education, learning skills, feelings of security, and self worth. My mother has been helping us with the care of our daughter on and off since her birth. We get visitors from my side of the family and my husband's and we often travel as well to see relatives and expose our daughter to her cousins and aunts and uncles. When my daughter is not in the care of my mother or us, she goes to a private home where she is the only child being watched by a couple who do not have grandchildren of their own. They are multilingual and of my culture so she is exposed to that as well. While futile with work and activities, we try to expose our daughter to neighborhood kids and friends' kids - most of whom are not Indian. But I truly started to wonder now that I have my own kid and will soon have a sibling for our daughter if the village will shape our daughter's life. I know we will definitely have an impact on her but does it take a village?
I think it does. While parents can discipline and educate their children, children learn very early to be defiant and independent and they will form their own opinions on foods, issues, and what they think is a good bedtime :-0 Children will explore the world outside the home and learn about its people - good and bad. Children will often make mistakes and learn from them. How others' interact with your children does shape their lives and now that I am living through this, I truly believe that it does take a village.
My daughter is more secure when she is not in a day care environment. She loves when we have visitors and the house is partially filled with relatives and friends. Granted, she does not like crowds but there is a sense of security that permeats her being when we are all there- maybe not doing anything but just there. She feels secure from the type of care she receives. If in the home or private home, I tend to see her acting more secure and happy. At a center, she is lost and often feels the need to be clingy, displaying her insecurity to me when I get home. How she is treated by the world around her impacts her well-being, her creativity, her attitude, and her eating habits. Parenting is a joy and it is a gift from God but in assessing my own parenting skills, I have learned a lot from the last year and a half as well. How I react to my daughter makes a difference in how she reacts to me and the world around her.
I am so thankful to be a mom and share in parenting with a partner who is equally thrilled to have a child and as I take this time to reflect on the last year and a half, I realize that it takes more than me and more than my husband and that continuously my daughter will be exposed to the world around her which will also impact her growth and learning and it is my job to understand and even assess the "village" we place her in, the "village" she finds herself in, and the elements in it. While I do not 100% agree with Hillary Clinton's political views, I did enjoy the premise of her book and agree that when it comes to children and their development, it does take a village.
